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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Friday, April 27

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Let’s pick on Instagram today.

Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - The Emirates FA Cup Semi Final

Hello, everyone!

Remember how I said I’d talk about Instagram a different day during yesterday’s Hoddle? No, because I wrote about Tim Sherwood, Danny Drinkwater, and skittles vodka? Doesn’t matter. Today’s the day.

Ramble of the Day

There’s no need for me to explain Instagram, the app or the culture, nor will I debate its impact on society, though I’m sure there are a few good pieces on the internet somewhere. Whether or not you like Instagram, there are probably some things about its users that annoy you. (Or it could just be me. I guess I’ll find out soon enough.)

Why am I picking on Instagram in particular? I find that it is the app where people take the most liberties in using it, and tend to get it wrong on occasion. They have too much fun on there, which makes me sound like a grump, but I think I will be able to prove my point.

I decided to crowdsource a bit and ask my sisters what bothers them about Instagram users. My older sister quickly replied, saying how she dislikes it when people try to communicate too much in hashtags. #WritingSentencesInHashtagsIsNotAGreatWayToCommunicate #ItMightBeTheWorstFormOfCommunicationActually #especiallyifallofthelettersarelowercase

My younger sister picked something else. She is frequently annoyed by the people who treat an image like a collage, breaking it down into six or nine different posts. It always looks fine once the job’s done, but given Instagram’s awful algorithm, sometimes the images show up out of order on your feed, which is confusing. Let’s not forget that once you resume regular Instagram activity by posting one picture at a time, the collage is out of order.

No habit, though, is more annoying than almost everyone’s desire to use the dreaded Boomerang. It’s like the founders of Boomerang had a meeting to decide how they were going to create the app that would ruin the Instagram experience because everyone would use it too much. People will Boomerang anything, and there’s hardly any art to it. Sitting in a room? Let me move my phone left and right to create a Boomerang! Let me flip a random thing and Boomerang it!

Even when people are selective about it, they almost never time it correctly. Again, the art is simply taken out of it. Moussa Sissoko is a frequent culprit of excessive Boomerang-ing, but almost everyone’s feed is littered with awful boomerangs. Luckily for them, they’ve saved it for their Instagram stories, so I will not name and shame today.

Let me issue a warning before I leave you all for the weekend to the Boomerang obsessed: Turning your regular life into a Boomerang will not make it more interesting. It is also not at all a better way to observe most things. Please use it sparingly.

tl;dr: There are some very annoying people on Instagram

Links of the Day

Zlatan Ibrahimovic will not play for Sweden at the World Cup.

Beşiktaş is refusing to play the final 33 minutes of the abandoned cup semifinal against Fenerbahçe.

Sofiane Boufal has been exiled from Southampton’s first team after he was involved in an altercation with manager Mark Hughes.

Colombia has a World Cup song, and Falcao and James Rodriguez are in its music video.

Today’s longer read: for ESPN, Raphael Honigstein tells the tale of 25-year-old Red Bull Salzburg assistant coach and former tactics blogger Rene Maric