The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Monday, April 30

Hello, all of you!

I hope you’re in the mood to break down a Jürgen Klopp quote, because I am.

Ramble of the Day

Before Liverpool’s 0-0 draw with Stoke City over the weekend, Klopp was asked about Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who recently picked up a long-term knee injury. He had a very...let’s say interesting thing to say.

Let’s begin with his opening phrase about lemons and lemonade. I take a lot of offense to this phrase because it implies that lemons are awful, which they aren’t. Lemons are fabulous and are only beat by limes, my favorite fruit. Lemonade is also great, and is only good because of the lemon, not because of the sweetness. (My mind will not be changed on this.) I do understand, though, that Klopp is not the first person to say that, and unfortunately will not be the last.

Despite my outrage, that is not the most important part of this quote, so let’s get to it.

Klopp takes quite the turn, adding another comment that barely goes with the lemonade one. He goes quickly from saying his side will try to make the best of a tough situation to saying they will wait for him in the most...fascinating of ways. Let me write it out again for emphasis:

We will wait for him like a good wife waits for a man in prison.

First, as someone noted in a tweet I can no longer find, Klopp sort of has to wait for Oxlade-Chamberlain. The contract he signed almost a year ago most likely makes sure of it. That’s the boring part of this quote dissection, though.

Certainly, waiting for a spouse in prison is dependent on the crime. If he has been arrested for protesting, it may be worth waiting for him. In theory, something like tax evasion might also be inoffensive, and so waiting for your spouse after something like that is, I suppose, fine. I am not so sure waiting for your tax evading spouse makes you a good spouse in return, but I have to imagine the jailbird will appreciate it.

What if the crime is larger, like engaging in a Ponzi scheme or murder? My older sister, a lawyer, said that having a spouse sent to jail is grounds for divorce, and I would guess many people would like use that get-out-of-jail-free card in that case. (See what I did there?) Does it make you a good spouse to wait for a murderer?

Perhaps he is talking about the show The Good Wife, starring Julianna Margulies. She was said good wife and waited for her husband, a local politician who was arrested for corruption-related crimes. The whole show was about, among other things, how that relationship was to her detriment, so I’m not sure Klopp was referencing that.

I recognize that English is not Klopp’s first language, so he may have been trying to communicate something else. However, we all need more specifics. Some spouses are ultimately good for waiting for their jailed spouses. Others, not so much. Which wife is Liverpool?

(For what it’s worth, I don’t think Oxlade-Chamberlain deserves comparisons to Ponzi schemers and murderers, so Liverpool is probably a good wife in this case.)

tl;dr: Let’s talk about Klopp’s jail reference.

Links of the Day

Chris Coleman has been sacked by Sunderland, and the club has been sold to a group led by Stewart Donald, the chairman of non-league side Eastleigh.

Arjen Robben will miss Bayern Munich’s Champions League trip to Real Madrid with a groin injury.

Today’s longer read: The Independent’s Jonathan Liew interviews Jan Vertonghen on consistency and winning titles