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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Friday, May 18

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A Royal Wedding themed Hoddle.

Tottenham Hotspur v Leicester City - Premier League Photo by Henry Browne/Getty Images

Hi, Hoddlers!

Here’s one last ramble before the weekend.

Ramble of the Day

Since everyone’s talking about it, I might as well do so. Today’s ramble is Royal Wedding themed, but not in any of the typical ways. I won’t drone on about how excited about their wedding, nor will I be a grump about it and want the whole thing to burn down. I’m firmly somewhere in between, of the belief that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry seem like nice enough people and also that the coverage of it stateside has been at times wonderful but mostly unbearable.

Anyway, there is a bit of Royal Wedding coverage I have enjoyed. Before you groan about my recommended long reads about a non-football topic, bear with me. This is not at all the case. Steven Kurutz interviewed screenwriter Gary Janetti for The New York Times last month, because he’s got an Instagram account dedicated to telling a story about Prince George’s Machiavellian habits. The obviously fake story has mostly been dedicated to George’s dislike for Markle because he hates sharing the spotlight, but he’s moved on to other members of his family, too.

Here’s the one that kicked it off:

“There is ONE star in this family, bitch.”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

Janetti has found genuinely amazing pictures of the young prince looking as sassy and judgmental as a person could be. Going through the posts, it’s hard not to get sucked in.

I had initially picked 23 (!) posts to highlight, but I’ve narrowed it down quite a bit. They are all mostly presented without comment, because Janetti does all of the work here.

“Nice meeting you. Oh, and next time you see me, bow, ‘kay?”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

“Die already.”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

“We’re late, just leave her there.”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

I really do love that picture of Prince George in this context.

"This is not the 'who wore it better' you want, dear."

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

"Guys, can I play poor people dress-up too?”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

"This face."

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

"Oh, I didn't know we could wear these as coats."

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

“Was Topshop having a sale?”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

“ET phone home.”

A post shared by Gary Janetti (@garyjanetti) on

Janetti creates this hilariously devious character out of a young boy, and does so compellingly. Take a peek through his Instagram account if you have time to kill or want to distract yourself. The story is addicting, and I cannot wait to see what pops up on Janetti’s Instagram on the big day.

tl;dr: My favorite bit of Royal Wedding content.

Links of the Day

Pep Guardiola has signed a two-year contract extension at Manchester City, keeping him around until 2021.

Gianluigi Buffon will leave Juventus, but will not retire just yet.

West Brom are set to appoint Darren Moore on a long-term contract after an impressive stint as the team’s interim manager.

Today’s longer read: Robert O’Connor on the real story of the so-called richest footballer in the world, Leicester youth player Faiq Bolkiah, for Bleacher Report