The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Wednesday, May 23

Hi, Hoddlers!

It’s time for another game of Things I Discovered in the Cartilage Free Captain Writers’ Room!

Ramble of the Day

I was made aware of a habit of Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson yesterday: he wears two watches at the same time.

Intrigued (and a little bit outraged), I told everyone that I would spend way too much time looking at pictures of Henderson for today’s Hoddle, and I kept my promise. I unintentionally saw Henderson’s hair evolution, which is not that dramatic, but after combing through the player’s Instagram and Getty Images, I have come up with a timeline of Henderson’s watch habits.

(Note: Footballers, as you can imagine, are not photographed wearing watches frequently, so Getty Images was not terribly helpful. What I’m saying is that everything worth finding was on his Instagram account. Also, Henderson has really mastered leaving only one wrist visible to cameras at all times, meaning I could not check if there was a watch on both wrists.)

Let’s begin in July of 2016, when Henderson joined Liverpool on their preseason tour in the United States. The midfielder, somehow, could not find a picture sans watermark, but he is not the first footballer to run into that problem. Anyway, this picture also offers a good look at both of his wrists, and everything seems to be in order. He’s got only one watch, and a rather nice looking one at that.

May 2017 was when the double watch look was first spotted on Henderson. The type of watches are hard to see, but it looks like the watch from the July 2016 picture might still be on his left wrist. He’s got a new one on the right wrist, though, which is just strange. At this moment in time (get it?), though, there is still a question of whether or not the black watch is a smart watch or some sort of fitness tracker.

Just weeks later, though, Henderson shared what exactly was on his right wrist. It’s...another watch. That tells time. Just like the silver one. In fact, he’s coupled his analog watch with a digital one. But why? A theory in the writers’ room is that Henderson cannot read his analog watch so has the digital one to tell time and the analog watch as an accessory. That would mean Henderson is bad at accessorizing, which might be true because wearing two watches at once is a very clunky look.

In case Henderson does not know how to read the analog watch and uses the digital as support, I have some advice: Learn how to read the analog watch, or just look at your phone like everyone else. I have been in the habit of wearing watches since I was 5 and forgot how to read my analog watch quickly somewhere in between, but I figured it out! You can do it, too, Jordan. I believe in you.

Last August, though, Henderson assured us all that he has outgrown his silly habit. He greeted Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain sporting a silver watch once again on his left wrist, and had an empty right wrist. All is right with Henderson’s wrists, at least of August 2017. I knew you could do it!

I am glad he saw the error of his ways.

tl;dr: The Jordan Henderson watch saga.

Links of the Day

Argentina’s Sergio Romero will miss the World Cup with a knee injury.

Manuel Pellegrini is the new West Ham manager, while Gary Rowett has left Derby County for Stoke City.

Brandi Chastain was inducted into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame with a plaque that looks nothing like her.

Former Norwich forward Grant Holt has signed a professional wrestling contract.

David Squires’ latest cartoon is about last weekend’s FA Cup final.

Today’s longer read: Marcus Alves explains why Sporting Lisbon fans attacked their players last week for Bleacher Report