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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Monday, May 28

Crying babies.

Tottenham Hotspur v Leicester City - Premier League Photo by Henry Browne/Getty Images

Hello, everyone!

A very happy day off for those of us in the States and in the United Kingdom.

Ramble of the Day

This weekend, I spent time with a baby. He’s my sister’s friend’s baby, and he is a very nice and well behaved one. Anyway, to entertain a three-month-old, I basically did an in-person, straight from the mouth (and mind) ramble.

I spoke about Instagram culture, mentioning the very important fact that you cannot post naked pictures on the app. I told him all about a modern person’s need to show off certain aspects of one’s life to others for many reasons, some of them being unhealthy.

The conversation naturally turned to selfies, and eventually, the Kardashian family. From there, I discussed the impact they have had on America and the rest of the world, and it was certainly not a positive conversation. I did note that the Kardashians likely began America’s obsession with unstructured reality television, which allows those who want to be famous to get their own TV shows without trying to be artists of sorts. I also mentioned that Keeping Up with the Kardashians is a genuinely boring program even if you like trashy reality television. I had to watch the first episode for a TV class I took in college, and it was not captivating at all.

I briefly discussed the difference between broadcast journalism and print journalism before making him laugh by fake sneezing. The kid was transfixed; he made incredible eye contact and was clearly paying attention to every word I said even though he didn’t understand any of it. It probably helped that I was rubbing his belly the entire time, because I found out that keeps him quiet. That being said, he might be a better audience than all of you, but I’m not sure if he reads the links.

Anyway, I was starting to tell him about the rambles I do on this nice website, and I naturally started thinking of the last one I did, which was the one about that silly list of the top ten most famous athletes. I was just getting started, and had barely uttered the name Colin Cowherd when the kid lost it and started crying. He was not to be quieted, either. Rubbing his belly did not work, and neither did fake sneezing. Rambling also did not help, and because I do not know how to hold a baby, I was out of ideas. (Note: I am pretty sure the last time I regularly hung out with a baby was my little sister, who is only two years younger than me.)

Only his mother could console him, and she did. He eventually went to sleep, but not before I started telling people that Colin Cowherd and his list made a baby cry.

tl;dr: The time I made a baby cry by saying “Colin Cowherd.”

Links of the Day

Mohamed Salah believes he will play for Egypt at the World Cup next month despite picking up an injury in the Champions League final.

Fulham have booked promotion to the Premier League, while Rotherham will make the jump from League One to the Championship.

“Live It Up,” the official World Cup song performed by Nicky James and featuring Will Smith and Era Istrefi, is out and it is not that great.

Today’s longer read: Eliot Rothwell begins a series in which he profiles the World Cup’s host cities for ESPN with Nizhny Novogorod (and there’s a Tottenham reference in there)