The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Friday, June 1

Hey, everyone!

Let’s talk about films again.

Ramble of the Day

Football teams have gotten incredibly creative lately with how to make their money. From Angry Birds sleeve sponsors to getting the National Football League to partly fund your stadium, it is quite the art. No one, though, is more skilled than Ed Woodward. From wine sponsorships to tractor sponsorships, there is almost nothing Woodward wouldn’t do if the world “sponsor” is involved. Films have naturally made its way to Old Trafford as a result.

I’m sure many of you know about many of these, but really, they are worth sharing because throwing footballers into film advertising has produced silly results. Take this advertisement for Deadpool as an example.

If you’re not cringing, these types of things are fun, if only to see if these footballers can act. I think Michael Carrick gives a great performance here, but I don’t know if his faces of skepticism and judgment are acting or not. It’s fine and all, but do you know what the Deadpool ad is missing? Wayne Rooney.

Let me explain. When he was at Manchester United, Rooney showed off his acting chops, doing some advertising for 2016’s X-Men: Apocalypse and Independence Day: Resurgence. Let’s start with the X-Men one.

Before Rooney enters the picture, we’ve got voice actors doing a terrible job of pretending to be James McAvoy and Nicholas Hoult, which really makes the video very strange at its beginning. The star, though, is Rooney, who has the best lines and provides the necessary comedic relief in a very dramatic story. I was incredibly disappointed when I went to the theater to see the movie, only for Rooney not to appear in a minute of it. Wayne Rooney does not deserve to be trailer trash.

Now, for Independence Day.

Rooney had to share the spotlight with Juan Mata, Chris Smalling, and Daley Blind, who memorably reminds Jeff Goldblum that his name is pronounced “Blind, like wind,” but he still stands out. Smalling tries, and Mata is clearly very excited to be there, but it is Rooney that delivers his lines with the proper sharpness. Each line is delivered with precision, hitting the perfect tone; he plays the role of focused and confident team leader very well.

It is too bad Rooney has been linked to D.C. United, and not one of the Los Angeles clubs in Major League Soccer, or even one of the New York teams. He clearly deserves to take his talents to a screen, even if it is the small screen of soap operas.

tl;dr: Wayne Rooney is ... kind of a good actor?

Links of the Day

Former Chelsea chairman Ken Bates has been accused of racism by former youth players.

Paolo Guerrero has had his doping suspension overturned by a Swiss supreme court judge, clearing him to play for Peru at the World Cup.

Managerial ins and outs: Zinedine Zidane has resigned as Real Madrid manager; Marco Silva returns to the Premier League after having been named the Everton manager; Frank Lampard is the new Derby County manager

Chelsea is putting their plans for a new stadium on hold as owner Roman Abramovich is having difficulty getting his UK visa renewed.

Today’s longer read: Jacob Feldman on Harry Kane, Julian Edelman, and the growing respect between players of the two footballs for Sports Illustrated