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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, June 7

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How Tom Carroll inspired a ramble about being a tourist in New York.

England Media Access Photo by Nathan Stirk/Getty Images

Hello, everybody!

I’m going to do a very New York ramble again.

Ramble of the Day

I’m sure you all remember Tom Carroll, former Tottenham Hotspur midfielder that got that assist to Gareth Bale that one time against West Ham. “Why?,” you might be asking. According to his Instagram story, Carroll is in New York doing tourist things.

Myself and my fellow New York-based members of the Cartilage Free Captain writers’ room, of which there quite a few, began wondering where Carroll could possibly go next. We narrowed it down pretty easily, because Carroll, like most footballers, will probably go to just a few places in New York City.

At the top of the list is Times Square, which I warned you several months ago is an awful place.

#Villa400 in Times Square!!!

A post shared by David Villa (@davidvilla) on

If he’s into theater, he might see Mean Girls or SpongeBob Squarepants: The Broadway Musical. (I have not seen either, so I cannot comment on their quality.)

Carroll might also be found in SoHo, much like Kevin Trapp was two summers ago when my younger sister passed by him on her way to the subway. I was on the phone with her where she almost screamed “I JUST SAW KEVIN TRAPP.”

New York State of Mind ... #newyork #nyc #skyline #empirestatebuilding #chilling

A post shared by Kevin Trapp (@kevintrapp) on

Central Park will certainly be of interest to him. I hope he doesn’t get lost in there because it’s pretty easy, but if he turns on Google Maps, he’ll be fine. Hopefully he’ll get his own picture for the ‘gram instead of just stealing a picture off of Google, like Alexis Sanchez.

Central Park New York

A post shared by Alexis Sanchez (@alexis_officia1) on

The Empire State Building will likely be his go-to destination for views of New York City, and so might One World Trade. The High Line is another less well-known space to just walk, and he might have already visited it because the restaurant he visited is nearby. (Note: I have no idea what you do at the High Line other than walk because as a native New Yorker, I have not done enough touristy things in this city. I do know that Spurs once did some planting there.)

Finally, Carroll will probably want to pick up some souvenirs by shopping on Fifth Avenue. By souvenirs, I mean high end goodies from the city’s most expensive stores. Being a footballer with a big budget, it’s essential when visiting New York.

#Manhattan

A post shared by Jan Vertonghen (@jvertonghen) on

Now, other than going to Times Square, there is no shame in visiting any of these spots. I’d recommend visiting Top of the Rock instead of the Empire State Building because the views are better and it’s less crowded (it also might be cheaper), but other than that, it’s a good list to start with. Naturally, I’d recommend seeing additional sights that fit your specific tastes, which I’m sure Carroll won’t do. He will likely stick firmly to the Basic Footballer’s Guide to New York City, but all power to him. I hope he has a great time.

tl;dr: The Basic Footballer’s Guide to New York City, likely to be followed by Tom Carroll.

Links of the Day

Danny Rose spoke about having depression after a tough year on and off the pitch.

Manchester United have signed Diogo Dalot from Porto on a five-year deal.

Today’s longer read: Henry Young on the many players at the World cup who were eligible to represent another nation for CNN