The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Wednesday, July 25

Hi, all!

A slight programming note for those of you that may have missed it: There was an informal petition to make the lead image of each Hoddle one of Son Heung-Min smiling until Tottenham sign a player. Since there were a pretty decent number of recs, I have decided to listen. Every single morning, a smiling Son will hopefully make your spirits brighter as you all deal with the frustration of The Waiting Game, Summer Transfer Window Edition.

Ramble of the Day

Speaking of transfers, Malcom has finally left Bordeaux, officially joining Barcelona on Tuesday. This, of course, was after he was almost booked to join first Everton and then AS Roma, apparently making the switch from Roma to Barcelona so quickly that he didn’t have a chance to tell his own mother. Anyway, his mom now knows where her son is, and Barcelona was happy to let her (and the rest of the world) know his whereabouts.

In perhaps one of the more strange hashtags to unveil a new signing, Barcelona has encouraged supporters, and perhaps all onlookers, to enjoy Malcom, enjoy Barcelona, and enjoy every single player they’ve signed. It is definitely unusual, but it is a nice sentiment. It’s very welcoming and inviting, and reminds me of a good host.

I bet you didn’t envision a talking ball when you read “good host.”

That’s right, the soft and pleasing voice of the Enjoy Barça campaign is a talking ball.

The talking ball tells a story about eventually retiring in Lionel Messi’s private museum and mentions that it misses the players before casually mentioning that Clément Lenglet joined the club. This 30 second video barely the player that its technically supposed to be about! But forget the contents — Why did Barcelona think this was a good idea?

Watching the ball “talk” is so, so creepy. Its accent, while nice, is for some reason seemingly British. (I am completely unaware of who Barcelona is trying to appeal to with that accent.) I can’t stop reading “Enjoy Barça” with the ball’s voice in mind. It will never leave me alone. I am forever haunted.

I am very glad the talking ball didn’t come out for Malcom, and hopefully never comes out again.

tl;dr: Nightmares, sponsored by FC Barcelona.

Links of the Day

AS Roma is considering taking legal action against Malcom and Bordeaux after the player ditched his plans to join the Italian club at the last minute to sign for FC Barcelona.

Kylian Mbappé revealed that he played the World Cup semifinal and final with a back injury.

Transfer roundup: João Moutinho has moved to Wolverhampton Wanderers from Monaco; Richarlison has joined Everton from Watford; Fulham have signed goalkeeper Fabri from Beşiktaş; Bournemouth have signed defender Diego Rico from Leganés

Today’s longer read: Jake Cohen explains why shirt sales do not pay for transfers for The Independent