The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, July 26

Hello, everybody!

If you were looking for alternative match commentary from Tottenham’s match against Roma, I can help you with that.

Ramble of the Day

The following are random thoughts and observations I had during Spurs’ preseason match against AS Roma. It was supposed to be easier work than it ended up being since the D.C. United-New York Red Bulls match I had to watch was delayed an hour and a half because of bad weather. Regardless, here are some fleeting rambles from ten o’clock at night.

• pre-match: There are so many L’s on the front line: Lamela, Lucas, and Llorente.
• 1’ Those kits really cut the players’ torsos. From behind, it looks like their butts should be in the middle of their backs.
• 9’ Fernando Llorente scores

• 17’ Fernando Llorente scores

• 25’ Janusz Michallik is doing color commentary for ESPN, and has just called Michel Vorm “Michael Vorm.” My older sister: “Drink.” (We have no drinks of any sort around at the moment.)
• 27’ This commentary is entertaining. Play-by-play commentator Mark Donaldson: “Look at Llorente! It’s like...the giant!”
• 44’ What a half for Lucas. A nutmeg, a backheel, and now a goal.
• 61’ Lucas is still good. Also, I want to go to sleep.
• 63’ Fernando Llorente is switched off for Son Heung-Min.

• 65’ I am playing “Fernando” out loud, and it coincidentally perfectly lined up with the replay ESPN showed of Llorente’s highlights. (This song has woken me up.)
• 72’ I am having a conversation in a WhatsApp group about people getting Tottenham tramp stamps. (It did not involve convincing anyone to not get one or to get one, just imagining that people do this.)
• 79’ One of the commentators — not sure which one — just pronounced Gazzaniga as “Gazinga,” and I cannot stop laughing. This has led the Cartilage Free Captain writers’ room to remember the famous mispronunciation of Gylfi Sigurdsson’s name.

• 84’ This game was so much better in the first half. At the very least, though, this second half has been entertaining, and most of the Spurs players have looked quite good for a first preseason match.

tl;dr: Random thoughts during a preseason match.

Links of the Day

Benjamin Pavard’s goal in France’s World Cup Round of 16 match against Argentina has been named the goal of the tournament.

Transfer roundup: Fulham have signed André Schürrle on a two-year loan from Borussia Dortmund; Alireza Jahanbakhsh has joined Brighton from AZ Alkmaar; Atlético Madrid have signed Gelson Martins from Sporting Lisbon; Wolverhampton Wanderers have picked up Jonny Castro Otto on loan from Atlético Madrid; Manchester City have signed French teenager Claudio Gomes from Paris Saint-Germain; Bayern Munich have signed Canadian teenager Alphonso Davies from the Vancouver Whitecaps

Today’s longer read: Eric Gomez on Charly, the Mexican kit manufacturer that has overtaken Nike and Adidas as the most popular brand in Liga MX for ESPN