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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Tuesday, August 7

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A lot of pictures and thoughts about Spurs players arriving to preseason training.

Burnley v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Nigel Roddis/Getty Images

SCHEDULING ERROR I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY

Ramble of the Day

Finally, the last batch of Tottenham players reported for preseason duty yesterday, as the nine World Cup semifinalists came back to the training ground. Seeing as bags are a popular topic for you all, according to yesterday’s comments, and me, according to a previous ramble, I figured I’d ramble about what the players dragged into the training ground.

(The following images are screenshots from a Spurs Instagram video.)

First up is World Cup winner Hugo Lloris, sporting a new haircut and carrying a small bag. I know I said we would talk about bags, but we must focus on that haircut first. At first, you barely notice it, but the more you look at it, the worse it gets. He looks like someone who doesn’t realize he’s about five to eight years younger than he is.

As for the bag, it looks quite nice. Feel free to guess what’s in there, but it looks like it is the bare essentials. A wallet, phone, maybe some hand sanitizer or chapstick. Nothing major.

Next, we have one of the tournament’s standout right backs in Kieran Trippier, who is traveling heavier than Lloris. That is not meant to be a slight at Trippier, who may have just brought more things for the first day the way you bring more stuff on your first day of school. The duffel bag looks quite nice, though.

Here is Eric Dier, who decided a bag was not necessary at all. He instead carried two pairs of shoes and some shinguards in his hands, making me wonder why exactly he needed two pairs of shoes that day, in addition to the pair he is supposedly wearing on his feet. Also, he is a remarkably light traveler. His pockets probably are big enough for a wallet and a phone, and I guess he does not need much else. But seriously: Why is he carrying two pairs of shoes and shinguards at once?

Naturally, Mousa Dembélé and Jan Vertonghen arrived together. From the looks of it, Dembélé came without anything in his hands, and I will once again guess that his pockets did the heavy lifting. Vertonghen and Dier must have gotten a similar memo, as he came to the training ground with two pairs of shoes in his hands. Dier has won this contest, though the question of why he needed two pairs of shoes, in addition to the pair he is probably wearing, still applies.

Danny Rose also reported for duty, but we get no shots of a bag he might be carrying. Instead, we see him rocking a good pair of sunglasses and a jacket that looks nice, but may be a bit too warm for the weather.

Next up is Toby Alderweireld, who is also sporting a nice pair of shades. He looks like the typical footballer arriving to training with a small bag that might be Louis Vuitton. He also brought a pair of shoes, but bringing one pair is pretty normal, so I have no further questions.

Then there’s Harry Kane, who is sporting the “I’m a famous person, please don’t notice me” look. The all-black clothing helps to disguise him, as does the baseball cap. He looks as if he’s avoiding the camera people at the training ground, which is not that nice, but I do not know these people, so perhaps Kane’s judgement is right. I like his bag, from what I can see.

Finally, there’s Dele Alli, who showed up in a backpack that we never got a good view of. (Maybe he’s got a pair of shoes in there.) Feel free to comment on his outfit, which I like. The graphic t-shirt is pretty nice, and works well with the bright blue shorts. A simple look needs the proportions to be perfect, which they are. Good look.

tl;dr: Fashion, presented by Tottenham Hotspur.

Links of the Day

Clarence Seedorf has been named the new Cameroon coach, with Patrick Kluivert serving as his assistant.

Thibaut Courtois has not reported to Chelsea training as scheduled following his offseason break.

Newcastle players have refused to speak to the media until they settle a dispute over bonuses with owner Mike Ashley.

Transfer roundup: Borussia Dortmund have signed Axel Witsel from Chinese club Tianjin Quanjian; Salómon Rondón has moved to Newcastle from West Brom

Today’s longer read: Jack Pitt-Brooke interviews West Brom’s Hal Robson-Kanu about his blockchain expertise for The Independent