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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, August 9

An important topic for all Hoddlers.

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Tottenham Hotspur Training Session and Press Conference Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images

Hello, everybody!

I have a very important question.

Ramble of the Day

As you all have noticed by now, the lead image for each Hoddle for the last two weeks has been one of Son Heung-Min, perhaps one of football’s few players that is universally adored and appreciated. The reasoning was this: a smiling Son should greet you all each morning until Tottenham make a signing in order to make everyone just a little bit happier.

I had no problem obliging. After all, who doesn’t like Son? Plus, there are certainly enough pictures of him smiling to last the two weeks, and Spurs would sign someone by then, right? Well, we’ve made it to the final day of the transfer window in England and...Spurs have not signed anyone.

There is still time, so perhaps I will not need an answer to this question, but I must ask: What should I do if Spurs don’t actually sign anyone by the deadline?

I will surely run out of pictures of Son smiling by the time the January window comes around. Today’s lead image came from page 47, and I have not been that picky over the course of the last two weeks when it has come to selecting pictures. I am searching for an alternative, as much as I enjoy looking at pictures of Son.

I will now suggest other approaches for the upcoming five months that we might wait for Tottenham to sign another player:

  • Pictures of the many members of the Spurs squad smiling, in an effort to take most of the burden off Son.
  • Pictures of Spurs players in distress, at least temporarily, to reflect your own suffering.
  • Pictures of something else entirely, like cats from this Twitter account a member of the Cartilage Free Captain writers’ room shared:
  • Back to normal service because we might as well make it easy on the Hoddler-in-Chief, who might find it difficult to stick with a theme for five whole months.

These are just a few suggestions, but ultimately, the choice is yours. If you want something random, I will likely stick to it for only a week and go back to normal service, so be warned. Feel free to start your own informal petitions and rack up the recs, or just go quickly into your gloom.

tl;dr: What should I do if Spurs don’t sign anyone?

Links of the Day

A study conducted by the FA has found that young footballers are dying at a higher rate than expected from heart conditions that were not spotted in tests.

Transfer roundup: In a three part transfer, Thibaut Courtois has moved to Real Madrid from Chelsea, Mateo Kovačić has moved the other way for a season-long loan, and Kepa Arrizabalaga has joined Chelsea from Athletic Bilbao to replace Courtois; Wolves have signed Adama Traore from Middlesborough; Napoli have signed defender Kévin Malcuit from Lille

Today’s longer read: Adam Hurrey breaks down the 12 types of Premier League transfers that happen every year for The Telegraph