The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, September 26

Hey, everyone!

Let’s go back to the world of teams and sponsorships.

Ramble of the Day

The other day, those in charge of the Tottenham Hotspur twitter account posted a video of players at the Hotels.com “Hotel Academy.” Immediately, I thought that this might be a video worth rambling about, and I was not disappointed.

Let me begin by stating that I did not trust Ben Davies, Christian Eriksen, Juan Foyth, and Michel Vorm to do hotel things, and this video proved me right. That isn’t a knock against them, of course; they’re all pretty good at their day jobs and are probably good at a few other things, too, just...not hotel things.

The first challenge was a good way to ease them into the challenges of the Academy, not that picking up a load of luggage and going through obstacles is particularly easy. Eriksen, though, does make it look easy. Just another thing to add to the résumé.

As for the towel swan challenge, Foyth managed to put a point on the board, even though no one is keeping score (unfortunately). I don’t even know how he managed it, even with a set of instructions. Good for you, Juan. You can also add something else to your résumé.

The third challenge involves Davies and Eriksen carrying a tray of glasses and running again through those poles, and while I watched this, I came to a realization: Davies is probably the most relatable one here. Of course, they’ve all experienced difficulty throughout these challenges, challenges that I think most of us would struggle with. Yet, there is something about Davies specifically; in that first challenge, he was banging the bags into the poles more than anyone does, and in the glasses challenge, he talks to himself the way many of us would. The way he says, “Oh my gosh. How has that stayed up?” is very relatable, at least to me. (I understand that many of you might identify with the speedy Eriksen.) That final exclamation of “Rubbish!” at the end of the challenge really drives the point home.

Next, we make it to the challenge where the players have to make a bed, which might be the hardest of them all. You can’t blame Foyth for saying “It’s impossible,” nor can you blame Davies for just wanting to lay on the bed even though it isn’t really made. I want to say that I doubt Davies’s mother would be proud of their effort, but I don’t know her, so I can’t truly say, can I? (Also - Davies is providing more comic relief than I expected.)

Finally, Eriksen and Vorm get to do a normal thing and kick some footballs, but the footage is mixed in with Davies attempting to mix some drinks. Again, he is relatable and funny because he keeps tossing around ice cubes (or wasting them, you decide) and missing the target over and over. Is his part scripted? Perhaps a bit, but some of it seems real, like the reactions during the tray of glasses challenge. I also feel like the remark about his mother’s pride isn’t scripted either, but it could just be a pretty good (read: not obviously manufactured by a brand) script. If that is the case, Davies can deliver them well. Add that to your résumé, too.

tl;dr: This is accidentally more about Ben Davies than I intended it to be.

Links of the Day

Amnesty International’s latest report says that Qatar still has a human rights problem while constructing sites for the 2022 World Cup, despite promising reforms.

Italian forward Giuseppe Rossi will stand trial for doping next week after testing positive for an eye drug.

David Squires looks at the top and bottom of the Premier League table in his latest cartoon.

Today’s longer read: Stephanie Baker, David Hellier, and Irina Reznik report on the disappearance of Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich for Bloomberg News