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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, January 10

An old tale of visitors without invites.

Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea - Carabao Cup: Semi-Final First Leg

Hi, Hoddlers!

An important update from newly engaged Juan Foyth and his teammate, Erik Lamela:

Translation of that last bit: “Invite me or I kill you.” Isn’t he wonderful?

Ramble of the Day

Several weeks ago, my mother told us what is essentially a real life horror story — or, to be more precise, a real life story about children not understanding boundaries. When I was a baby and my older sister was a few years into elementary school, she had some classmates who also happened to live nearby. They were twins — a boy and a girl — and there’s not much I know about them, except that they would dash to our place after school every single day in search of snacks and then leave.

From my mom’s description, they didn’t ask for an invite, and they weren’t particularly close with my sister. They considered themselves always welcome, and would walk in the door if it was open because my sister was returning from school. If she made it inside before them and the door was shut, it was no matter — we had a doorbell, after all. Once inside, they’d ask if we had whatever they were craving, but would settle for anything. The boy was quick to the fridge and to pick out snacks. If there wasn’t enough of something for them to share, they’d ask why. As my mom explained, she wasn’t concerned with stocking up so there’d be enough for her one older child and the kids across the street.

Once they had their snacks, they ran a lap or two around the house and did some chit-chat and other normal little kid stuff with my sister. After that, well, they just left. The whole episode was about 20 to 30 minutes, and it only happened for a few months before the family moved away. My mom — or my dad, for that matter — never did tell the parents of the twins across the street, though she always tells the story with a look on her face that she only makes when she’s totally annoyed, and perhaps a little bit horrified. Her problem did go away, though.

When I decided to ramble about this weeks ago, I realized this might be a one-sided account. It’s reasonable that I would only have this one side — it’s not like my sister genuinely kept in touch with those kids. That said, if you are one of those twins and you’re reading this, reach out. Drop a comment in here, or shoot me an email or something. I’ll be happy to learn your side of things, because it is a peculiar situation and after several discussions, we’ve never been able to figure out why it happened.

tl;dr: A story about two of my older sister’s classmates who used to show up uninvited to our house to eat.

Links of the Day

English model Jasmine Lennard has accused Cristiano Ronaldo of sending her threatening text messages and hiring a detective to dig up dirt on her, among other exchanges.

One man has been arrested for using anti-semitic language before Tottenham’s League Cup victory over Chelsea on Tuesday.

The FA has reached a settlement with Mark Sampson, who was fired from his job as the manager of the women’s national team for inappropriate behavior in a previous job.

Transfer roundup: Watford have signed forward Filip Stuparevic from Serbian side FK Vozvodac; Bayern have signed Benjamin Pavard from Stuttgart, with the defender set to join in the summer

Today’s longer read: Jonathan Liew on Harry Kane, a player who can seemingly do it all for The Independent