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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, January 2

A lot of Spurs content.

Cardiff City v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images

Hello, everyone!

Son Heung-min content always belongs at the top of any Hoddle.

Ramble of the Day

I love it when Tottenham’s social media team gives me an easy ramble. Today’s selection is a video in which the players give each other New Year’s resolutions, and naturally, they’re all making fun of each other.

Harry Kane went first, saying Eric Dier’s New Year’s resolution should be to get clothes that fit him. Dier’s teammates have complained about him in several team videos over the years, and I do feel a little bit bad for the guy. He’s clearly one of those people that’s in between sizes, so his options are either clothes that are too small or too big. It’s probably a hard life to lead, and I do sympathize. The guy can afford a tailor, though, and maybe should go to one, but maybe he does for his outside clothes and less so for his inside clothes. We might need Dier to comment on the situation before we can judge further.

Kyle Walker-Peters wants Harry Winks to cut down on the hair gel. I doubt this happens.

Christian Eriksen would like Son Heung-min to smile more. Think Son’s doing a good job of it thus far. (If he’s being earnest: Who couldn’t use more Son smiles in their life?)

The next portion of the video saw Lucas Moura and Serge Aurier pick on each other. Moura suggested Aurier get a better fashion sense, and I wish I could comment on this. I honestly have no idea how Aurier dresses, and I can’t say that I know Moura well enough to comment on fashion, so I’ll let them duke this one out. Aurier, meanwhile, would like Moura to get “new hair for the new year,” so I’m guessing hair plugs.

Finally, Toby Alderweireld pops up with a resolution for fellow Belgian center back Jan Vertonghen: Uno skills. It was the obligatory Uno reference/insult for an official Tottenham video, and I’m happy it made it in. Now that I think about it, I’d like to play Vertonghen in a game of Uno. I don’t play as much as these people do, but if he’s so bad, I bet I could beat him. Then again, the rest of them could all just be really good, making him good but not better than really good Uno players. (Side note: Spurs need more Uno content.)

tl;dr: Unattainable New Year’s resolutions.

Links of the Day

[paywall] Chelsea will have their own stewards at Wembley for the League Cup semifinal against Spurs, and will eject fans who sing anti-semitic chants.

David Squires focuses on Liverpool’s good form and the holiday fixtures in his latest cartoon.

Transfer roundup: Wolves have signed 18-year-old David Wang from Spanish fourth division side Jumilla B, and have loaned him out to Sporting Lisbon for the remainder of the season.

Today’s longer read: Alex Reid picks out the 18 moments from 2018 that we might have already forgotten about for FourFourTwo