The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, January 23

Hey, everyone!

I love writing up Hoddles with some Australian Open playing on my television.

Ramble of the Day

I do love it when footballers do not-football things and share them with the public. In particular, I love it when they decide to get musical, and though I’m a bit late to the game, I must discuss Memphis Depay’s rap single, “No Love.” He released it about a month ago, but I only just got around to watching it a couple of days ago, but I quickly realized that I must share my thoughts.

The song’s partly in Dutch and partly in English, but if you only understand one of the languages or neither, it’s not so bad. “No Love” is one of those music videos that tells the story of the song as you watch and listen, so you end up getting the point.

One of the first observations to be made about this one is the high production value, and that the couple in the video, played by actors, enjoys a comfortable life. Not only do they seem to really like each other, but they live in a secluded paradise with a nice living room, a lovely indoor pool, and some photogenic woods easily accessible. They go to the photogenic woods to take polaroids like the basic people they are, but at least they’re in love. Or are they?

By the time a Ferrari appears as a sort of confirmation of this perfect life they lead, we also get confirmation that they’re in trouble. The woman gets out of the Ferrari in a huff and doesn’t even have the decency to close the door. There’s an attempt at symmetry, as a scene of the man closing the car door is followed by his partner putting down the lid of the toilet seat as she goes to the bathroom to sulk. At this point, it appears that they have at least two bathrooms; while she’s in her bathroom, he ends up washing his face in a different one.

Soon, we find out that the nice house is near a road lined by large bushes and lit dimly, because the man goes for a run. He does so in the middle of the street, which is obviously very picturesque for a gloomy music video, but definitely a hazard in case a car shows up. The lovebirds don’t get their happy ending and the man packs and leaves, seemingly soon after the birthday scene that the video opens up with. Depay makes it rain without any money in his hands in the recording studio, and we leave with a shot of an empty hallway.

BET speculated that the song was about the end of his relationship with Lori Harvey, Steve Harvey’s model daughter, which provided a little bit more context before I went to look up and then translate the lyrics. The song is apparently about how “money changed the woman of my life,” which might not be literal because she’s probably pretty rich herself. He makes references to knowing where he comes from and “giving back to the deaf and the blind” in Ghana, so this might be interpreted as him being a humble man while she is materialistic. Depay also works in a reference to his godson and Pablo Escobar, cigars, and possibly marijuana.

Ultimately, it’s an entertaining first venture into music, but I can’t say if I like it or not. At the very least, Paul Pogba does.

tl;dr: Memphis Depay raps!

Links of the Day

The plane carrying Cardiff’s record signing Emiliano Sala has disappeared, with authorities spending 15 hours on Tuesday searching for it.

Tim Howard will retire at the end of the MLS season after a 22 year career.

Paris Saint-Germain has been fined €100,000 for discriminatory practices in scouting youth players.

Cristiano Ronaldo has been fined €19 million for tax fraud in Spain, but will avoid jail time.

Transfer roundup: Bournemouth have signed Chris Mepham from Brentford

Today’s longer read: Adam White on the hard-working Emiliano Sala and his impact on those he worked with for The Guardian