Some of you may have noticed that there were no masthead player ratings for Tottenham Hotspur’s 3-0 loss to Brighton & Hove Albion a week and a half ago. That was on purpose. I didn’t want to write them, you probably didn’t want to read them. Nobody to my knowledge complained.
But, we did put up a community ratings form as we do, and allowed you to vent by clicking on number lines in a Google form. Maybe it was cathartic? IDK. I hope so. It certainly wasn’t fun.
I’m not convinced that anyone wants to see these numbers either, but since we have another match coming up on Saturday, this time against a Watford team that’s currently in 20th, maybe it’ll help purge our psyches of negative emotions by posting the community ratings. Think of it as a giant bowl of lemons for your brain.
One side note: only four of you decided to annoy me this time by voting all zeros across the board. I’m surprised, actually. In fact, more people trolled the poll by voting all 10s than all 0s. I see you too. Those have also been removed.
There was no good in this match. This was the opposite of good. Hell is very dark, and cold. (So, I’m told, is Brighton.)
Lucas Moura (5.3): By far the highest rated Tottenham player on the day, Lucas was pretty much the only player who was still trying to actually do good things at the end of the match.
Moussa Sissoko (4.2): Who’d have thunk that we’d be looking to Sissoko as a club savior right now? Not me.
Son Heung-Min (4.1): People hated this match but still love Sonny. BTW, I have the IP addresses for all of you who gave zeroes to Sonny, expect a site ban shortly. (This is not true but Sonny is perfection, shame on you)
I’m not going to actually write words about these players; you know what they did.
Harry Winks (3.9)
Tanguy Ndombele (3.9)
Eric Lamela (3.8)
Paulo Gazzaniga (3.8)
Harry Kane (3.6)
Ben Davies (3.2)
Jan Vertonghen (3.2)
Toby Alderweireld (3.0)
Eric Dier (2.9)
Mauricio Pochettino (2.9)
Christian Eriksen (2.5)
It was a close thing, this. But when over a third of respondents put you as a zero (ironically or not) I can’t justify giving Hugo Lloris a rating, not even after two minutes in which he fumbled a cross spilling the ball into his own net and dislocating his elbow at the same time. Sorry, y’all.
There. Are you happy? I’m not. Let us never speak of this again.