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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, October 17

Kidz Bop rewrites

Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester United - Barclays FA Women’s Super League Photo by Action Foto Sport/NurPhoto via Getty Images


Today the top of the Hoddle, we have Spurs’ other head coach, Juan Amoros. He joined the club in 2011, and shares a name with a deceased Spanish cinematographer.

Ramble of the Day

I’ve never naturally run into it, but Kidz Bop is a truly wild thing in practice. The concept itself isn’t; making popular music appropriate for ears of a certain age is hardly unusual or impractical. The execution, though, is quite something.

Take, for example, the beginning of Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away”:

Summer after high school, when we first met

We’d make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

And on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never planned that one day I’d be losing you

For the folks at Kidz Bop, making songs clean means rewriting the parts appropriate for people over a certain age. Occasionally, it doesn’t require a lot — they changed a couple of words towards the end of “Old Town Road,” like “ridin’ on my booty” to “ridin’ on my bladder.” (I will admit that I burst out into laughter while comparing lyrics, but that is the true experience of a good Kidz Bop cleaning.)

However, the opening lines of “The One That Got Away” present quite a challenge to the very creative editors at Kidz Bop. Here’s what they came up with:

Summer right before school when we first met

We’d listen every day to Radiohead

And when it was my birthday, you bought me some balloons

Used to eat your favorite ice cream and hang by the pool

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never planned on one day I’d be losing you

No one had to change the opening lyric for reasons of cleanliness, though I find it interesting that Kidz Bop isn’t interested in youngsters hearing about life from an adult point of view. Still, it’s the middle two lines are the highlights; I really do love the switches from tattoos to balloons and from booze to ice cream. The swap from roof to pool was unexpected; didn’t realize hanging out on a roof would be considered inappropriate by Kidz Bop, but maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

There’s also another tangent to go on about the production value of their music videos, but I want to talk about the re-writers at Kidz Bop. It seems like truly hard work, and the results are always remarkable and frequently unpredictable.

tl;dr: Shoutout to the people that rewrite songs for Kidz Bop.

Links of the Day

The International Labour Organization says Qatar will abolish laws that tie workers to employers and will institute a minimum wage.

La Liga has requested the upcoming Clásico be moved from the Camp Nou to the Santiago Bernabéu as protests have begun in Barcelona.

Ukraine has qualified for Euro 2020.

The Italian sports minister has asked UEFA to remove Istanbul, Turkey as the Champions League final host after the country’s military action in Syria.

Today’s longer read: Samantha Lewis on the W-League’s split from Football Federation Australia and its plan as a fully independent league for The Guardian