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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, November 13

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(boring) sponsored content

Tottenham Hotspur v Sheffield United - Premier League Photo by Stephen Pond/Getty Images

Hi, Hoddlers!

Maybe today’s the day I have hot chocolate. Maybe it isn’t.

Ramble of the Day

Creativity in sponsorship deals has become commonplace in football. Manchester United’s work as a pioneer on the front has bred many types of collaborations elsewhere, like the Club Tijuana-Disney partnership I’ve now mentioned three times in a week while Hoddling. One of the latest to add to the ever-growing list of collaborations is MLS side FC Cincinnati, who partnered with a brand called Signature Hardware.

The line of business is self-explanatory, but the show of partnership is more unique. Together, the two parties decided a good way to showcase the company’s products would be through a bathroom renovation for defender Greg Garza. Here is the result:

We start with an opening shot of Garza’s home, and I quickly feel bad for the other bathrooms. This home clearly has more than one, but only one got the star treatment. Next, it’s Garza and his contractor, a man named Craig Russell who goes by the English Contractor, who says Garza’s been waiting “all these days” to see his bathroom. Finally, we get to the reveal.

It’s a very nice bathroom, with a soft color combo of white and light gray. Russell tells us there’s a bidet, and that he swapped a single vanity for a double vanity. There are also plants (which I’m guessing are fake) and candles (which leads me to a question: Do people light candles in bathrooms?) that Russell and Garza don’t talk about. Then I come to the realization: outside of the toilet and the vanity, all they changed were the handles.

It makes me wonder why it took “all these days,” but I imagine that’s not a specific time measurement. Russell could be kidding while it was a small period of time, or maybe they’ve just been talking about it for ages. Either way, it wasn’t really the remodel I thought it would be — I was hoping for something more dramatic in the vein of almost anything on HGTV (I wasn’t looking for high quality!).

Dion Dublin would never host this show. No wonder Garza doesn’t look overly enthusiastic.

tl;dr: FC Cincinnati arranged a bathroom remodel for defender Greg Garza, and it was pretty boring!

Links of the Day

Louisville’s NWSL expansion team will be called Proof Louisville.

Mohamed Salah will miss Egypt’s Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers with an ankle injury.

The Washington Spirit will split the 2020 NWSL season between Audi Field, the Maryland Soccerplex, and Segra Field.

The USL Championship will expand to Queens, N.Y. in 2021 with David Villa-owned Queensboro FC.

David Squires tackles football and the poppy in his latest cartoon.

Today’s longer read: Caitlin Murray interviews Megan Rapinoe on the USWNT and the NWSL salary increases they’re not eligible for for Yahoo Sports