What a whirlwind of a week that was! Tottenham capped off a tumultuous few days that included the firing of Mauricio Pochettino and the appointment of Jose Mourinho by heading off to play a London derby at West Ham and coming away with a 3-2 win. The win was not only their first away win in nearly a year, but also the first time they’ve EVER won at West Ham three consecutive times in the Premier League era.
There’s a story in the Athletic this morning that references how the Premier League did not allow Mourinho to wear an Amazon microphone during the West Ham match because of conflicts of interest, and also because West Ham personnel hadn’t consented to be included in the documentary that’s currently being filmed. That got us thinking that a ratings theme to Amazon Original Series would be a fun and topical theme for this week.
So here are our Tottenham Hotspur player ratings to the theme of Amazon Original Series. As always, all opinions are correct, especially ours.
5 stars: All or Nothing
No, it hasn’t actually be released yet, nor is it even in post-production. But after everything that’s already happened to Tottenham Hotspur under the steely gaze of the Amazon cameras, I can tell you already that this show is going to be absolutely amazing television.
Dele (Community: 8.6): If there was any doubt as to whether Dele would respond to Jose Mourinho, I think we already have our answer. This was his best match in what feels like years — progressive, active, and engaged. He was involved in just about every good thing Spurs did at the London Stadium. Welcome back, brother.
4.5 stars: Homecoming
Come for the pelican. Stay for the aspect ratios.
Son Heung-Min (Community: 8.5): Sonny got his smile back for this match, scoring once and setting up Lucas’ goal with a perfect low cross. It’s one game and the sample size is small, but it certainly doesn’t look like he’s in any danger of having his role reduced or altered significantly.
4 stars: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
A period comedy piece about a 1950s divorced woman who gets into stand-up comedy doesn’t seem like it should be interesting, and yet it’s a really fun and empowering watch. It manages to get that Gilmore Girls feel while still coming across as fresh and new.
Lucas Moura (Community: 7.4): In the writer’s room we’ve said for a while now that Lucas is better when utilized wide than as a striker, and he showed it in this match. Having him make those runs into the box for crosses (like his goal) rather than be the tip of the spear will only help him going forward. Might even get a few more starts now, too.
Toby Alderweireld (Community: 6.7): Pushed to the left side due to the absence of Jan Vertonghen, Toby was, well, Toby. Looked comfortable on the ball and while he didn’t quite lock things down completely he was solid enough at the back.
Harry Kane (Community: 7.6): Kane looked... well, “revitalized” isn’t quite the right word, but he’s certainly moving around more than he had under Poch. Had a couple of runs ruled offside early on and still isn’t sprinting like he used to, but he’s standing around more in better areas, and thus is in better positions to receive service. His headed goal was well taken.
Jose Mourinho (Community: 7.8): In his first match in charge, Jose kept things simple by not switching to an unfamiliar formation, not asking players to do too much, and letting them excel at the things that they are good at. He’ll no doubt start switching things up, but this was the right approach for his first match in charge.
3.5 stars: The Boys
The Boys comic was one of the most violent, absurdly bonkers superhero comics I’ve ever read, and I couldn’t make it all the way through it. The show takes the premise from the comics (which is super interesting) and tones everything down a touch for TV. Strip away all the gratuitous violence and sex from the show and you get an ensemble show that has some pretty interesting things to say about its underlying themes about fame, power, and revenge.
Davinson Sanchez (Community: 6.1): We were all worried about Davinson under Mourinho thanks to the Europa League final between Manchester United and Ajax, and you get the sense that he’s only there now because Jan Vertonghen is injured. But he wasn’t bad, marshaling his area and making some decent stops when it mattered.
Ben Davies (Community: 6.3): I’m not sure that Davies did anything especially interesting in this match (apart from getting injured), but he put in a solid defensive performance on the left flank and didn’t barf on his shoes.
3 stars: Good Omens
One of the most hotly anticipated shows of 2019, this adaptation of the beloved Gaiman/Pratchett novel had outstanding performances from the two leads but was otherwise pretty flat and at times near boring. Considering the difficulty translating the humor and the story to the screen, I’m starting to think that this is a book that should have just remained a book.
Eric Dier (Community: 5.5): Defensively, I thought he was great! But his passing was pretty poor at times and he still looks a little thicc and not up to the fitness we remember from past seasons. Let’s give him a chance under Mou.
Harry Winks (Community: 6.6): Credit to Mourinho for getting Winks to actually make forward passes, but almost the opposite of Dier, I was not impressed with his defense or his positioning in this match. He should not be a starter ahead of Tanguy Ndombele.
Paulo Gazzaniga (Community: 6.4): Didn’t have much to do in the first half, and couldn’t do much about the two goals Spurs conceded late. It’ll be interesting to see how Gazinga adapts now that Spurs are (apparently) no longer committed to playing out of the back.
Serge Aurier (Community: 6.6): Boy, was this match just about the perfect encapsulation of Aurier, or what? The match was best emphasized in one play in the second half where he nutmegged Robert Snodgrass, ripping the soul out of his body in the process, only to pass the ball straight to a West Ham player two seconds later. Good moments balanced out by absolute derps: the Serge Aurer story.
Danny Rose (Community: 5.4): Had one decent tackle in a 15 minute sub appearances. Barely enough to get a sense of his match, but whatever. He was fine.
2 stars: Bosch
This procedural cop drama starring Titus Welliver in the title role is... well, it’s a procedural cop drama. It’s not especially interesting, it doesn’t really have the star power to carry it, and I’m a little shocked it’s lasted five seasons and is still going.
No Tottenham players were as bad as Bosch.
1 star: Lore
I listened to the Lore podcast for a while and it was interesting enough, though it lost its appeal quickly. Lore the Amazon TV show, by contrast, is a train-wreck — the same stories from the podcast, but expanded by the inclusion of weird animation and “historical reinactments” with some pretty terrible actors. Pretty impressive to take a folk history/occult podcast and make it boring on screen.
No Tottenham hotspur players were as bad as Lore.
Tom Carroll Memorial Non-Rating
Christian Eriksen, Moussa Sissoko