The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, November 26

Hi, everyone!

Above is midfielder Megan Wynne, who has been at the club since 2018. She’s a lifelong Spurs fan.

Ramble of the Day

Let’s start by doing what the following tweet says, since it politely said “please.”

These things always start off nicely, don’t they? You’ve been presented with Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray, who introduces himself and says, “off the charts, but always in your hearts.” Perhaps McGrath’s warning that “this is a little bit difficult for me to say” should’ve prepared the audience, but how could one really prepare for what Cheyenne wanted to tell Brayden?

Hands together as if pleading , McGrath says: “She wants you to know that you mean a lot to her. You mean the world to her, but she’s having difficulty staying in this long distance relationship.” Cheyenne is breaking up with Brayden through a video message delivered by Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath, arranged through Cameo. We’ve only hit the 30 second mark.

What could be left after Cheyenne makes it clear that she no longer wants to be in this relationship? First, commentary from McGrath, who knows the difficulties of long-distance relationships as a singer on tour. It’s not just McGrath going on tangent; he’s trying to let Brayden down easy as he shares that Cheyenne still wants to be friends. He’s optimistic, saying that “you never know what the future may hold!”

Just when you thought Cheyenne provided all the context needed, there’s more. Cheyenne is doing this while Brayden’s working on his thesis, and again McGrath has a (very reasonable) opinion, his arms now stretched halfway: “Probably not the best timing, Cheyenne, when he’s doing his thesis, but I understand.” This is a man who has integrity to the Cameo process. He’s clearly not thrilled to be here, and going through a range of emotions like Brayden and the audience. However, he’s going to do it and do it as kindly as possible.

He continues his attempt to cheer Brayden up. He says he hopes to see him backstage at a concert one day with the hopes that they’ll laugh about this. Hell, maybe even Cheyenne can laugh, too. In the end, he proves it’s not just in Cheyenne’s pain, but Brayden’s potential: “If you’re working on a thesis, you’ve got a good life in front of you.” He signs off, ending a chapter in the lives of all involved.

Another one begins, though, and one full of questions: What drove Cheyenne to break up with someone via video message from a famous person? Did she think she was being nice, or funny? Did she want to make matters worse? Is she overly thoughtful, or not thoughtful at all? McGrath’s services cost $100 on Cameo, so it’s quite the gesture.

As for poor McGrath, the most unexpected third party in a couple, I have a question for him, too. When he says this is “the first one of these I’ve done,” does he mean his first breakup video, or his first Cameo video, period? For his sake, I hope it’s the first, but imagine if it’s the second. The man innocently signed up to make some quick cash and (hopefully) brighten someone else’s day, and is instead tasked with delivering a breakup on his first go.

tl;dr: Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray was paid to break up with someone on another’s behalf.

Links of the Day

WADA has recommended Russia be banned from hosting Euro 2020 matches and from competing in other major sports competitions.

Lyon is negotiations to purchase NWSL’s Reign FC ahead of the league’s 2020 season.

Sergio Agüero will likely miss the Manchester derby after picking up a muscle injury over the weekend.

Marco van Basten has been suspended for a week by Fox Sports in the Netherlands after using a phrase associated with the Nazis during a broadcast.

Today’s longer read: Ben Fisher on the crisis at League Two side Maccelsfield Town as players and other staff go unpaid for The Guardian

Today’s longer watch: Bleacher Report explores Son Heung-min mania and what he means to people from his native South Korea