The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, November 27

Hello, all!

I’m getting pretty excited about Thanksgiving.

Ramble of the Day

I’d like to congratulate the Spurs men’s team on progression to the next round of the Champions League, difficult as it may have been. There’s another talking point from Wednesday, though, and it has little to do with the actual football that was played. The players showed up in Hugo Boss arranged outfits of black suits and matching black turtlenecks.

It wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last, but there’s something that needs to be established here: trendy as it may be, Hugo Boss should not have made the players wear turtlenecks. My theory is this: while it’s not terribly uncommon to see someone wear a turtleneck well, more people aren’t suited for it than are.

Take this group of footballers, who may all have a desired physical fitness but definitely vary in relation to looks. The sample size is, as a result, of a wide range. You have some who can really pull it off, like Son Heung-min, who continues to demonstrate an ability to wear just about anything well.

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

We also have Toby Alderweireld, who makes you question whether or not it’s a good look for him. Regardless of where you fall on the question, you’re not offended by the picture.

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

With almost everyone else, though, we run into a problem. It makes necks look weird and heads look oddly placed in relation to the rest of one’s body.

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

These players benefit from the photographers catching them from side angles, since the video above proves that looking straight on reveals more flaws in the look. I also don’t doubt that there is a look — or that there might be a few — that suit a larger group of footballers, all of different necks and heads. It isn’t the one for Giovani Lo Celso, though, or a majority of his teammates, and there’s no shame in it. I just think they shouldn’t be forced to wear something that’s supposed to make them look very polished but doesn’t suit them.

A quick perusal of Hugo Boss’s Twitter provides some suggestions for a more universally flattering look. This one’s navy (they say):

and this one’s a similar concept to the one Hugo Boss picked out for Spurs and features footballers:

This one’s slightly interesting because of the gray color:

and if you wanted to go more casual, ther are some options:

At the end of the day, Hugo Boss probably has some style experts they can consult on the matter. Have fun with it! Just get these innocent people out of turtlenecks.

tl;dr: Don’t make Spurs players wear turtlenecks. They don’t suit most people!

Links of the Day

Manchester United defender Max Taylor will be in the squad to face Astana in the Europa League for the first time after completing treatment for testicular cancer.

African Confederation Cup winners Zamalek will not travel to Qatar for the African Super Cup.

David Squires wonders which side of José Mourinho will be seen at Tottenham in his latest cartoon.

Today’s longer read: Kirsten Schlewitz on Marko Marin and Red Star’s journey in the Champions League so far for StatsBomb