The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, December 10

Hi, all!

That’s midfielder Chloe Peplow above. She’s currently in the middle of her first season with Spurs.

Ramble of the Day

When I was younger, I was a frequent customer at Burger King. At first, I was attracted to the toys but the chicken nuggets and french fries that always accompanied the toys won me over. It became part of a lifelong love of the combination, even as I grew older and considered myself too old for chicken nuggets.

Still, I remained part of the prime audience when Burger King launched chicken fries, probably about a decade ago. The packaging, while appealing in its own right, wasn’t even close to what I was attracted to. For whatever reason, I thought of it like this: a meeting in the middle of a classic chicken and fries combination. I wasn’t expecting it to be potatoes and chicken fried together, but it was more about a combination of textures and feelings while eating it. There was a certain crunch I anticipated, like a crispy fry or perhaps more like a chicken tender.

Photo Illustration by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

I had to try it at my earliest convenience after hyping it up, but it was just ... a chicken nugget shaped similarly to a french fry.

Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Someone told me a little while ago that Burger King is consistently mediocre; if you judge each item on the menu on a scale of one to ten, they are all a five. It’s impressively steady, but Burger King has proven that it is not the place to go for high quality anything. Burger King’s crispy chicken sandwich was never crispy enough; why would I get a crispy chicken fry?

The disappointment of chicken fries is ultimately a mundane one, as insignificant as the experience of eating anything off the Burger King menu. Damning, from my account? Sure. Does that change anything? Probably not; if Burger King wants to be mediocre, I cannot stop them. I can call it a lesson learned, but nothing more.

tl;dr: Honestly? Chicken fries sucked.

Links of the Day

Russia has been handed a four year doping ban from all major sporting events, including FIFA organized competitions.
Supplemental reading: the BBC’s explainer on Russia’s eligibility in football tournaments

Two Wolverhampton fans have been arrested for homophobic abuse during the weekend’s match against Brighton.

Newcastle is offering free half-season tickets to boost attendance numbers at St James’ Park.

The FA has banned agent Saif Rubie for five weeks for an “improper” use of Twitter.

Today’s longer read: Jenny Vrentas on Sports Illustrated’s Sportsperson of the Year Megan Rapinoe and the multifaceted experience of her newfound fame