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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, December 10

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Chicken fries, expectation, and reality

Tottenham Hotspur v Brighton & Hove Albion - Barclays FA Women’s Super League Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

Hi, all!

That’s midfielder Chloe Peplow above. She’s currently in the middle of her first season with Spurs.

Ramble of the Day

When I was younger, I was a frequent customer at Burger King. At first, I was attracted to the toys but the chicken nuggets and french fries that always accompanied the toys won me over. It became part of a lifelong love of the combination, even as I grew older and considered myself too old for chicken nuggets.

Still, I remained part of the prime audience when Burger King launched chicken fries, probably about a decade ago. The packaging, while appealing in its own right, wasn’t even close to what I was attracted to. For whatever reason, I thought of it like this: a meeting in the middle of a classic chicken and fries combination. I wasn’t expecting it to be potatoes and chicken fried together, but it was more about a combination of textures and feelings while eating it. There was a certain crunch I anticipated, like a crispy fry or perhaps more like a chicken tender.

Burger King Beats Expectations With Rising Q2 Profits Photo Illustration by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

I had to try it at my earliest convenience after hyping it up, but it was just ... a chicken nugget shaped similarly to a french fry.

Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Someone told me a little while ago that Burger King is consistently mediocre; if you judge each item on the menu on a scale of one to ten, they are all a five. It’s impressively steady, but Burger King has proven that it is not the place to go for high quality anything. Burger King’s crispy chicken sandwich was never crispy enough; why would I get a crispy chicken fry?

The disappointment of chicken fries is ultimately a mundane one, as insignificant as the experience of eating anything off the Burger King menu. Damning, from my account? Sure. Does that change anything? Probably not; if Burger King wants to be mediocre, I cannot stop them. I can call it a lesson learned, but nothing more.

tl;dr: Honestly? Chicken fries sucked.

Links of the Day

Russia has been handed a four year doping ban from all major sporting events, including FIFA organized competitions.
Supplemental reading: the BBC’s explainer on Russia’s eligibility in football tournaments

Two Wolverhampton fans have been arrested for homophobic abuse during the weekend’s match against Brighton.

Newcastle is offering free half-season tickets to boost attendance numbers at St James’ Park.

The FA has banned agent Saif Rubie for five weeks for an “improper” use of Twitter.

Today’s longer read: Jenny Vrentas on Sports Illustrated’s Sportsperson of the Year Megan Rapinoe and the multifaceted experience of her newfound fame