All of us (well, nearly all of us) are still celebrating the 180-degree turnaround by Toby Alderweireld since the appointment of Jose Mourinho as Tottenham Hotspur head coach, which culminated in Toby signing a new 3.5 year deal at the club on Friday.
However, if that gave you hope that Christian Eriksen might follow suit with his own improbable deal, I’m afraid I have some bad news:
Generallisimo Francisco Franco is still dead Christian Eriksen is still not signing a new contract.
According to the Evening Standard, Eriksen has again told Spurs that he will not entertain the idea of staying past the expiration of his existing contract, which runs out this summer. This, of course, shouldn’t be news to anyone; I’m just here to take a crap on the hopes and dreams of our more pie-in-the-sky optimistic readers. Sorry, y’all. He ain’t staying.
In fact, the only question at this point is whether Spurs can f—k him off in January for a pre-loaded Oyster card or if he’ll continue to ride the bench and provide spot reserve minutes until June. Neither option changes the ultimate ending here — this time next year Christian Eriksen will be wearing the kit of a new club and people will be posting snake emoji on Twitter whenever his name is mentioned.
A pro-tip to our readers: just accept it. He’s gone.