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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, February 20

A day in the life of Son Heung-min.

Tottenham Hotspur v Borussia Dortmund - UEFA Champions League Round of 16: First Leg Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

Hello, everyone!

Today’s ramble comes courtesy of a video someone shared in the links last week.

Ramble of the Day

Last week, Shoot For Love shared a video starring Son Heung-min that essentially turns into a Gillette advertisement. That said, the video’s pretty entertaining in its own right, as Son does fun things and the people behind the video add amusing commentary along the way.

At the start, Son is just waking up from what I’m guessing is a nice night of sleep, and he decides to empty a bottle of water. Before sleeping a little while elonger, Son lays down in his bed, takes the water bottle, and perfectly tosses it so it falls into the basketball hoop and into the garbage can in his room. Son repeats this in multiple formats for five minutes as he goes through his daily routine, and while he isn’t talking, the captions explain what’s happening. Sometimes, it’s simple stuff: “Sonny just woke up” is the first thing you read, but they get funnier as we go along.

Son eventually makes his way to his kitchen, and it becomes clear that all of the walls in his house are white and that he has a nice kitchen. He gets started on some eggs and toast, except he only lets the bread stay in the toaster for about a second. I’m mortified at the thought of him not toasting his bread, but I’ll move on because we’ve gotten to the jokes. Son takes out some ham for his sandwich, and made an adorably corny joke:

Son reads a book that I don’t recognize, which means I cannot understand the joke, and then goes to training. The commentary is as sharp as could be: “Feels like he is filming a football commercial.” Son basically does some things that a football freestyler might while we see his very nice backyard. “Sonchettino” shows up for the second part of training, and shows a play on the tactics board where Son does most of the work. Strange how these things work out.

Son walks back inside his home to see a pair of socks on the floor, asking “Who put the socks here?” The commentary reveals that Son was the one that put them there, and then he casually kicks them into his washing machine, impressing whoever is writing this commentary and the audience. Son also sticks his jacket in the washing machine, but doesn’t bother closing the door or beginning the process of doing laundry.

We’ve finally made it to the Gillette commercial portion of this video, where Son goes into his bathroom, where the only thing he has is a can of shaving cream and a razor that’s on a stand stuck to the mirror. There’s only one thing for him to do at this point, obviously.

There’s a joke soon about how shaving will get rid of your beard, but won’t make you look like Son, but let’s look at that picture for a moment here. Son doesn’t exactly have visible facial hair, so shaving seems rather pointless. He could be exfoliating in the way Vanderpump Rules’s Tom Sandoval does, but I’d guess not. Either way, the man ends the session with a clean shave, perhaps because he also started that way.

Son ends the video by going into a closet with two or three items, putting on a Gillette jersey with his name and number on the back, and writing a note saying that Gillette will donate one South Korean Won to the Childhood Cancer Foundation for each view of the video. It’s worth the watch for that alone, but it’s also purely enjoyable, which is probably an easy thing to accomplish when Son’s involved.

tl;dr: Son Heung-min does tricks and tells jokes.

Links of the Day

Nantes will take a dispute with Cardiff over Emiliano Sala’s transfer fee to FIFA if the Welsh club does not pay the first installment this week.

City Football Group is set to add Chinese third-tier side Sichuan Jiunium to its portfolio of clubs.

Today’s longer read: James Montague on Wisla Krakow’s near collapse and Jakub BBlaszczykowski’s attempt to save the club for The New York Times