The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Friday, March 1

Hey, everyone!

Let’s talk about the tiniest of dilemmas.

Ramble of the Day

There are a number of series of events that could lead to this, but you’re stuck with a television remote and nothing to watch. Maybe you’ve cleared out your DVR, but something you plan on watching live won’t be on for another 20 minutes. Maybe you’re waiting for someone, and you know that person is arriving shortly, but don’t have enough time to put on something you’ll get invested in. Whatever it is, you’ve searched the channels and nothing interests you, and you’ve decided that whatever you put on is just going to be background noise while you stare at your phone. So: what are you going to watch?

Right now, instead of staring at my phone, I’m writing the Hoddle, but I’m in this situation. I’m watching Shark Tank, a show that has become my go-to when there’s nothing on television. It’s easy enough to tune out, but also interesting enough if you decide you want to pay attention. If you’re lucky, you’ll see someone’s deal fall apart completely, which doesn’t happen all the time but is easily the best thing that could happen on Shark Tank — for entertainment value.

There’s something so entertaining about seeing someone’s business model getting exposed, like the woman who wanted to make expensive chopsticks for elite restaurants or another woman who said pre-made soups suck even though she was pitching a pre-made soup business. There’s also a different version of a deal spiraling out of control when a person rejects other good offers because they were trying to attract one shark in particular, which is just as fun to watch. They scramble to pitch to that shark, ignoring the ones that have put offers on the table, and then panic when those sharks withdraw their offers. You’re not always going to get this, though.

In fact, sometimes, Shark Tank isn’t even on. The other night, I was stuck watching this show, Splitting Up Together, a show that I think is about a couple getting a divorce but living together for the kids. I’d assumed it was a normal network sitcom that had the lightest of laughs and uninteresting storylines, but the episode I tuned into was particularly juicy. The couple that split up got back together, but the ex-husband had a baby with someone else, though this woman doesn’t want him to have anything to do with the baby. There was a subplot about...someone else — it was not clear at all what this person’s relationship to the main characters was. At the end, it was a jam-packed 30 minutes, but was it particularly engaging despite its soap opera plot? No.

So I guess the answer to my question is that sometimes I pick something comfortable, like Shark Tank, or a I take a risk by watching something like Splitting Up Together. (There’s a version of this story where I watched about seven minutes of a show called A Million Little Things where I watched a man tell his significant other that he was having an affair with his dead friend’s wife.)

tl;dr: There’s nothing on television. What do you watch?

Links of the Day

UEFA has decided to end an investigation of anti-Semitism from Chelsea fans after the club accused its own fans of discriminatory behavior.

Fulham has sacked Claudio Ranieri after only 17 matches in charge, with Scott Parker will serve as the caretaker manager.

Sergio Ramos has been banned an additional match by UEFA after admitting to getting a yellow card on purpose against Ajax.

Manchester City has signed a 10-year deal with Puma worth £650 million.

Crystal Palace’s Mamadou Sakho will miss the rest of the season with a knee injury.

Today’s longer read: Kizito Madu interviews sociologist Ben Carrington about racism in football and the potential that exists in the sport to combat the issue for SB Nation