The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Monday, March 11

Hi, Hoddlers!

Feel free to dissect the Érik Lamela boots you see above. I’ll be dissecting something else in the ramble.

Ramble of the Day

If you’ll recall, I dropped the following tweet at the top of a Hoddle a few weeks back, and naturally had a question about what exactly Jurgen Klopp’s living situation is.

Before I continue, I must say this: I haven’t found the answers, and I don’t actually want to know Klopp’s address or anything like that. That quote makes it sound like he lives in the house Brendan Rodgers lived in as Liverpool manager, and/or there’s a house designated for managers of the Liverpool men’s first team. I had decided to do some digging, in part because I had heard a rumor that Klopp was actually renting Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s Manchester home.

Though I can’t currently verify whether or not Klopp had to live in Rodgers’s house, it turns out he does. Rodgers confirmed this back in December when asked if he wants the man who followed him up at Liverpool to fail. “Jurgen rents my house,” he said. “I want him to be there as long as possible.” Clearly, it’s a nice place to get additional income, but I do wonder if that big portrait of Rodgers is still hanging in that place. If it isn’t, I wonder where it is.

Remember how we were talking about Solskjær for a hot second there, though? Obviously, Klopp’s not the one living in his house, but whoever thought he was was pretty close. It turns out that the house the Manchester United manager owns is currently rented by Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk, which Solskjær confirmed after his side lost to Arsenal on Sunday. Per The Independent, Solskjær tried to sell his Cheshire home after he moved back to Norway, but it didn’t work, so he rents it out now. He was asked about what happens to the house if he gets the United job on a full-time basis, and he was quick to answer: “Yeah, he’s evicted.” Mike Whalley writes that it was joke, but who can really be certain?

Again, I’m wondering: Is there a secret footballers and football managers home listing service or real estate company? The answer is that it’s probably just a group of agents that know who owns what in certain areas, but what if it was a House Hunters-like setup? Each person who signs up for House Hunters: Football Edition would get three homes owned by players or managers for rent, or perhaps homes formerly owned by footballers and managers to buy. It could also be a version of MTV Cribs because you’ll end up seeing how certain footballers and managers live.

Take, for example, Christian Pulisic, who will be arriving in London shortly to begin his Chelsea career. Maybe the football real estate agent he consults will show him Álvaro Morata’s old place, Cesc Fàbregas’s former abode, and Thibaut Courtois’s old residence. You can all debate which one he’d end up picking, but my money’s on Courtois.

We could, of course, raise the stakes. Let’s say a player was being courted by the top three London clubs — Arsenal, Chelsea, and Tottenham Hotspur — and for whatever reason, couldn’t pick which club to go to between playing time, guarantee of certain European competitions, and the paycheck. The clubs have decided that they’ll be offering a former player’s old place, and whichever home he picks will also decide which club he plays for. Arsenal might offer Santi Cazorla’s old home; Chelsea would opt for the place Nemanja Matić; Spurs would show this player’s Mousa Dembélé’s former residence. This would be a very fun show.

Outside of my high-stakes fantasies, it seems there might be an informal football players and managers living arrangements merry-go-round.

tl;dr: A secret network of football players’ and managers’ homes.

Links of the Day

The U.S. women’s national team has filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Soccer Federation, claiming there has been “institutionalized gender discrimination.

The man who invaded the pitch and punched Jack Grealish during the match between Aston Villa and Birmingham has been charged with encroachment and assault.

The Premier League has opened up an investigation on Manchester City regarding possible financial wrongdoing.

FIFA has denied Chelsea’s request to freeze its upcoming transfer ban.

Today’s longer read: Mani Djazmi on the 1974 World Cup match that served as the only meeting between West Germany and East Germany for the BBC