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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, March 14

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Children who cook.

Southampton FC v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Catherine Ivill/Getty Images

Hi, everyone!

I’m watching a DVR’d episode of MasterChef Junior, so I might as well ramble about it.

Ramble of the Day

You might be asking why I watch MasterChef Junior, and it might be a question I’ve asked myself once or twice. Yet, as I go through the season premiere, I know why I watch this show: there’s a silly amount small but dramatic moments in a short amount of time.

At the start of every season, each contestant naturally introduces themselves, and talks about their cooking origins. A bunch of kids get by without saying anything controversial, but there are always a few that claim they’ve been cooking since age three or four, which I obviously do not believe. I don’t necessarily think the kids are lying intentionally; maybe they got some bad information from their parents, but regardless, I don’t believe that adults would easily let a child near a stove.

There was an added layer of snobbery in this group, though, considering several of them said they’re “not your average [fill in age here] year old.” One of them likes to ride dirt bakes, so I’ll give her credit on that, but tacked on that she played soccer, which isn’t particularly unique, but probably is when coupled with the bikes. Most of them, though, just kept saying their palates were more advanced than kids their age, which is probably true! I’m sure at least one of them has a more refined palate than me, but it was a truly significant thing to watch a number of them claim this.

There are also random snippets of just interesting commentary, like the time one kid was in awe of another’s knife cuts, or the child who said he wanted to own a smoothie business, a kid-friendly nightclub, and a culinary school. These are the likable children, and in the case of the second one, a very innovative child. I happen to think that the idea of a kid-friendly nightclub is a good idea for the after school crowd, the foodies who don’t want to drink, and for people who don’t want to drink after a night of drinking.

It’s essentially a 50/50 split of children who are nice and normal outside of being unusually good at cooking (unless you’re the kid who made a quesadilla with very little cheese) and children who are very competitive. They’re all very passionate and they basically get away with whatever they want from the judges because no one’s (understandably) going to yell at other people’s children on television. It creates a very interesting dynamic, without a moment to rest. It’s pretty fun!

tl;dr: The allure of MasterChef Junior.

Links of the Day

The Colombian women’s first division will maintain its professional status following a vote by the federation.

FIFA is interested in a 24-team Club World Cup for 2021.

FIFA’s Dispute Resolution Chamber has ruled against the youth club seeking solidarity payments for the transfer of DeAndre Yedlin to Tottenham Hotspur in 2014.

Today’s longer read: Sam Borden provides an update on the rape case against Cristiano Ronaldo, including the stalling tactics being used by his legal team for ESPN