The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, April 17

Hi, Hoddlers!

Let’s start with a tweet from the land of the National Women’s Soccer League.

Ramble of the Day

Specificity is incredibly important. We all learn this at some point, and we probably don’t even remember how we picked up the lesson. I do, though, and I learned it watching The Odd Life of Timothy Green.

You’ve either never heard of The Odd Life of Timothy Green, or haven’t heard that combination of words in years because you forgot that film existed. So did I! It’s a random Disney movie starring Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton before he got into the stuff he’s known for now. I think I watched it because I thought Disney would actually hit some unusually strong emotional notes, which I don’t think it did. To be honest, I remember almost nothing about this movie, except for this one scene that really drove home the point of specificity.

Garner and Edgerton’s Cindy and James are a couple who could not have a child the do-it-yourself way. Upon finding out the news, they make a list of possible accomplishments for the child they hope to one day have. Eventually, they magically (I’m serious about the magic part) end up with a child named Timothy, and they enroll him in school and other normal kid stuff. One of the activities Timothy was signed up for was football/soccer, and you’ll probably start to figure out why I remember this scene.

The movie ends up addressing a number of the items on the wish list, and Cindy and James put scoring a game winning goal on that list. There’s a video out on the internet of this scene — I won’t embed it here because there might be some copyright issues, but it is remarkable and a little bit bonkers. Timothy plays football a little bit weirdly, and his parents project onto the other adults in his life because sweet Timothy is making his way towards goal. This ends with him scoring on a lovely volley, but there’s a problem:

Young Timothy scored a game-winning own goal.

Timothy eventually disappears and the movie does the same in one’s brain. I will always remember, though, that Cindy and James needed to be more specific about what they would’ve wanted their child to accomplish. I indicate all the time when I wish for goals which goalkeeper it should be behind, or what goal it should be in, or which team it should count for. Maybe Cindy and James should’ve written down that their future kid should score a game winning goal for his team.

tl;dr: The odd lesson from Timothy Green.

Links of the Day

Paul Scholes has been charged by the FA for breaking the federation’s betting rules.

Wayne Hennessey apparently does not know what a nazi salute is, per the FA panel investigating the incident in which he was photographed doing a nazi salute.

Senegal’s Khadim Ndiaye will miss the Africa Cup of Nations after breaking his leg.

Vancouver Whitecaps supporters are planning a protest over the way the club handled sexual misconduct claims made by former female players.

David Squires gives the Premier League a Game of Thrones reimagining in his latest cartoon.

Today’s longer read: Shamoon Hafez on Istanbul’s derbies and the culture of them for the BBC