My first season regularly going to Spurs was 1998/99. Our strikers that year were Steffen Iversen, Chris Armstrong and the corpse of Les Ferdinand. And let me tell you buddy, they were *terrible*. So terrible that that summer we
took £11 million and set it on fire signed Sergei Rebrov.
It’s still hard to believe that 20 years later we have two legitimately world class forwards in their prime and a third option that just scored a hat-trick to send Spurs to the Champions League final. We would have killed for one half-decent striker, now we have three very good ones. It’s pretty cool.
Anyway... here is how every forward performed this season, and some thoughts on what we’ll do in the transfer market.
This was a weird season for Harry Kane MBE. He gradually set aside worries he was still struggling with an injury sustained the season before, getting close to the scintillating form that saw him bag 56 goals(!!!!!) in 2017. Then he got injured. Then he came back! He scored five goals in six games... then he got injured again.
Despite his start-and-stop season, he still scored 24 goals. That’s the fewest he’s scored in a season since he started playing full-time. It also would have made him Tottenham’s top (or joint-top) scorer in all but one season between 1995/96 and 2013/2014.
He’s set such a high bar for himself that a very good season is a disappointment. When healthy (a big caveat!) he’s the best striker in the world. Hopefully he spends this summer encased in bubble wrap re-watching Tottenham’s glorious Champions League victory on repeat, getting ready to return to his record-smashing ways.
Rating: 4 Chirpys
Aside from being literally the nicest man on the planet, Sonny is really good at football. This season felt like a major step-up. His 20 goals put him second on the team behind Kane. He filled in admirably as the lone striker when Harry was out and, with the help of VAR and Llorente’s arse, almost single-handedly swept aside a historically good Man City team.
With the pesky issue of military service behind him, he can focus solely on Tottenham for the first time since he signed here. The newly-crowned Cartilage Free Captain Writers Player of the Season will be smack in the middle of his prime next year, here’s hoping he has another massive year.
Rating: 5 Chirpys
I’m not sure if you’re aware, but he just scored a hat-trick to send Spurs to the Champions League final. It was pretty cool.
His first full season at Spurs was a good one! He scored 16 times, including the aforementioned hat-trick that sent Spurs to the Champions League final.
His emergence allowed Pochettino to drop Dele and Christian Eriksen deeper to help cover for a midfield ravaged by injuries.
Despite all that he’s probably not even first choice when everyone is fit. If we have something even remotely resembling a working midfield, we’ll likely start with DESK up top and Lucas on the bench. Having someone who scored a hat-trick to send Spurs to the Champions League final available either off the bench or in the case of injury is pretty cool.
Rating: 4 Chirpys
There was a five-year stretch where I would have done anything to have Llorente at Spurs. It’s a little weird to finally get our hands on him, only to realize it’s a slightly run-down version that can’t really run anymore and forgot how to finish, but it’s still cool.
I don’t want to seem too down on Nando. He’s come through with some incredibly important goals and fulfilled his main objective (i.e. making sure Harry doesn’t have to start 60+ games) admirably. His aerial ability gives us a different option and can change games — he was brilliant in the second half in Amsterdam and we definitely don’t win without him.
He’s also been incredibly frustrating. In an ideal world, Kane doesn’t get injured and Sonny is the main backup striker, meaning Llorente plays 10 games instead of 34.
His contract is up this summer and there’s probably a 50/50 chance it gets renewed. If he does leave, it would be nice to take a shot on another Son-type player; someone whose main position is out wide, but can deputize up top in a pinch.
I’ll miss this sexy skyscraper when he’s gone. We’ll always have his butt goal at the Etihad.
Rating: 3.5 Chirpys
The CFC masthead issued the following grades for Janssen’s season:
- 1 Chirpy
- 5 Chirpys
- 1 million Chirpys
This season was a complete and total disaster for Janssen. He’s 24, he should be entering his prime. Instead he spent a year training with the reserves. Despite his recent cameos, there’s no reason to suggest he has any future with the team. There were rumors he turned down a loan to Brighton last summer; I highly doubt he turns down any move out of the club this time around.
He’s become a bit of a punchline at Spurs, but I hope he finds a situation that works for him. He clearly has talent, it’s just not at Tottenham’s level.