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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, June 13

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Sleeping foot.

Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool - UEFA Champions League Final Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images

Hey, everyone!

When this goes up, I’ll be flying over the Atlantic, hopefully close to Paris. I’ll check at some point, but there will be an interim Hoddler-in-Chief for the next week. [James Kennedy voice] See you next Friday!

Ramble of the Day

You’re sitting on the couch, which is a natural invitation to get comfortable. If you’re like me, that means putting your feet on the couch, and sitting on them. (In case you couldn’t tell, I live in a take-your-shoes-off home.) I tend to choose sitting pretzel-legged, especially if my laptop’s in front of me. This is all fine and good, of course, until my foot — or feet! — fall asleep.

After that, things get weird. Just the other day, I was banging my foot against the leg of a table, and then on the floor, to wake it up. It’s amazing how much easy force I threw my foot at the table leg; it felt reckless, but it obviously wasn’t and nothing really happened.

Eventually, the foot starts waking up, and then I have to hold the foot out and tried not to move it, because I can finally feel things again. A small movement in any part of my body might find its way down to the foot, and hurt way too much. It might erase all of the progress I’ve actually made, so I must wait for things to calm down. Finally, they do.

The foot feels well enough to start walking on — I do have things to do, after all. At least I didn’t have to walk on it like the time I was sitting on the floor of the hallway in high school and my foot fell asleep right before the bell rang and I had to go my ninth period class, therefore needing a friend to escort me to the nearby classroom. I basically walk weirdly; it feels like my leg is shorter, and each step has a bit of a bounce to it. I get to the other room and shake the leg out, hoping that should finish the matter. My foot finally regains regular feeling, probably because of the moving and less so because of the shaking.

tl;dr: The experience of a foot that’s asleep.

Links of the Day

Former Southampton youth coach Bob Higgins has jailed for 24 years in prison for abusing young players.

La Liga has been fined by the Spanish Data Protection Agency after it was discovered the league spied on conversations through its app.

Norwich has capped tickets at £30 for the team’s return to the Premier League.

Transfer updates: Real Madrid has signed Ferland Mendy from Lyon

Today’s longer read: Marina Hyde’s satirical as always take on the men who’ve vocally decided not to watch the women’s World Cup for The Guardian