Monday Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Monday, June 17

Happy Monday, everyone!

My weekend was a lot less chaotic than it normally is, given that club football season lasts the entire year except for what feels like two weeks. Of course this weekend was an anomaly and the rest of the summer has something for each one already scheduled.

One thing I will not be doing is going to my high school reunion, which is taking place next weekend in Wisconsin. It’s been twenty years since I graduated, but I never felt the need to go back and see people I haven’t talked to in forever. Also, there’s that little problem with travel: The town is basically two hours away from any major airport and the ones that are close only have a couple of flights in and out a few times a week. There are better ways to spend money, in my opinion.

Small town life, I’ve found, does two things to people: Either locks them in forever or forces them out the moment they turn legal age, never to return. There are exceptions, but this was definitely the case with my graduating class of 138 people.

In a few weeks, I’ll be heading up to Cedar Point on the shores of Lake Erie. I make at least one trip a year and try to do it two or three times. I love roller coasters and last year, Cedar Point took a beat up wooden coaster and turned it into a ride that basically steals the soul right out of your body.

The ride is called Steel Vengeance and it’s incredible.

Cedar Point has several good roller coasters, and up until last year, Millennium Force was my favorite. A 310 foot climb to the top of the first hill, followed by an 87 degree drop at 93 miles an hour? Sign me up.

However, Steel Vengeance took the top spot after I rode it. The ride is designed to take turns at weird angles to pull you out of your seat. It’s also one of the longest coasters I’ve ever been on. That’s a formula for success.

The first roller coaster I ever rode was Rolling Thunder at Six Flags: Great America in Gurnee, Illinois. It was introduced the summer before a Winter Olympics if my memory serves correctly, mimicking a bobsled run. It’s since been moved to Six Flags: Great Adventure:

I’m honestly amazed there’s video, let alone seeing it still in action. It wasn’t a great coaster by any stretch, but it was still fun.

So how about everyone else? Theme parks on the schedule for the summer or do you enjoy quieter things like going to a lake and camping?

And now the “news”....

Gary Woodland wins 2019 U.S. Open at Pebble Beach - PGA Tour

Tiger wasn’t in contention at all on the weekend, and I actually had to look up who Gary Woodland was.

Ah sh*t, the Lakers are good again - Deadspin

Are they, though? They just traded three first round draft picks and three players to get Anthony Davis. I think the jury is still out on this trade, even if Lebron and Davis play well together.

Outkast’s Andre 3000 spotted in airport terminal playing the flute - Tone Deaf

I would fly a lot more if Andre 3000 was guaranteed to be playing music when I entered a terminal.

Man thought he bought dream home; ends up buying 30cm strip of land - 7 News Australia

I should feel bad for laughing at this, but this is Onion territory and, therefore, hilarious.