The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, June 4

Hey, everyone!

The great thing about the footballing calendar this year is that there are only six days in between the ending of the European season and the beginning of the women’s World Cup. Speaking of, I have a ramble on the topic.

Ramble of the Day

Just like last year, I’m here to rank the kits that we will all be seeing in France this year. Again, for the sake of the ramble, I’ll be sharing only my top and bottom three. I ranked them based on ambition and execution, and mostly without last year’s kits for the men in mind. There are a few repeats from last year’s men’s World Cup, most of which won’t be part of the ramble, and I’ll explain why anyone else gets that separate consideration as I go along.

Before I get started, if you are curious about how I ranked last year’s kits, here they are.

Bottom Three
Dishonorable mention: Jamaica home, Scotland away

3. Germany away

This is definitely not the most popular of opinions, but my main complaint is with the shirt’s collar. I am almost never a fan of such a thick sort of outline of the v-neck; to me, that design looks like a minimal effort youth football shirt, and the rest of the design doesn’t help. That shade of maroon is pretty dull, adding to the fact that it looks like an afterthought.

2. Chile home

As plain as it could get, and that’s not a great thing here. As always with something so simple in design, the execution has to be perfect, and this looks like it could belong to any team wearing these colors. The main design detail, the blue collar that was also featured on teh Tottenham 2018-19 home kit, is a weird looking collar, which doesn’t make this a particularly successful kit.

1. Jamaica away

Look, I love a kit with a pattern and bright colors. I really want to give Umbro and Jamaica credit for giving it a go, but the design is really unlikable. The pattern itself is unappealing, and looks a little bit cartoony, and the fade from the black to the pattern is drastic, and it seems like the two parts don’t mesh well together. I can’t give it more credit because it does not even have the benefit of a decent idea, if you break the design down to its bare bones.

Top Three
Honorable mentions: China away, Germany home

3. United States away

This kit demonstrates a couple of things: one, how to pick simple colors that pop; and two, how to jazz up a simple formula with a design that looks decent from a distance and even greater up close. A solid job well done by Nike and U.S. Soccer.

2. Nigeria home

Yes, we’ve seen this before, and perhaps federations and kit manufacturers shouldn’t be praised for not having separate, creative ideas for both men’s and women’s national teams. That said, this was easily one of the best kits in recent football memory, and it’s probably worth the exception. From a creative standpoint, it’s a hard act to follow up, and from a financial standpoint, why not whip out a very successful jersey? The design is still as wonderful as it was last year, and I’m not complaining seeing it again.

1. Australia home

In some ways, Australia’s home kit has the captivating impact that Nigeria’s did last year. It’s dynamic, bold, unique, and an honest pleasure to look at. This one’s inspired by street art seen in Melbourne, and really does have the look of a piece of art. It integrates the regular colors of Australia’s national teams so wonderfully in a kit that will be easy to remember for years to come.

tl;dr: I’m clearly fangirling over a few kits, but can you blame me? (Also there are some I don’t like.)

Links of the Day

Police in Brazil are investigating Neymar after he shared intimate photos on Instagram of the woman he allegedly raped in a video defending himself.

Leyton Orient manager Justin Edinburgh is in the hospital after he was “taken ill unexpectedly,” per the club.

Qatar will host the 2019 and 2020 Club World Cups.

VAR will be used for the Nations League finals this week.

Today’s longer read: Jenny Vrentas on the outspoken American midfielder Megan Rapinoe for Sports Illustrated

Bonus longer listen: Total Soccer Show’s group by group preview of the women’s World Cup [updating page as more previews are released]