The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, June 5

Hi, Hoddlers!

I doubt a single one of you cares, but I had to go through more than 40 pages of images to find a suitable image to top the Hoddle.

Ramble of the Day

I went into an H Mart the other day looking for that ice cream with Son Heung-min’s face on it, and to see if they had what is now probably an outdated issue of GQ Korea that had him on the cover. I didn’t find either, which might not be a surprise, and I didn’t focus on it too much as I wandered a Korean grocery store for the first time in my life. That said, I’ve made a related conclusion: food items with footballers’ faces on them is the best.

I would have this opinion, but I do go looking for these things wherever and whenever I can. So does my younger sister, who was once in pursuit of a box of cereal that had Jordan Morris on it. (She did end up finding it, after much searching.)

Here’s an example of something I actually did not have the ability to track down, but Mousa Dembélé (who I hope is enjoying China) was on Coca-Cola cans last year, ahead of the men’s World Cup.

I might have been in a tight spot if I had run into this can; I don’t drink soda and never liked Coke, but maybe I would have bought the can, poured the beverage into something else and offered it to someone, and then washed the can out and kept it for myself.

That is beside the point, though. Being on a food container is an indicator that you’re important enough for most normal people to know you. For me, it comes with an additional excitement because I love food and football very passionately. As a result of both, I find it simply cool; that’s how I would describe Son on ice cream cone wrappers in Korea, and it probably helps that there’s an ad that is the greatest thing to ever exist.

They essentially become somewhat unusual collectors’ item with the added experience of trying food that’s probably garbage. Take the Honey Bunches of Oat my sister bought; the cereal itself was fine, but the freeze-dried strawberries really killed the experience. Luckily for Morris, he will not be forever associated with freeze-dried strawberries in a cardboard box, but the option will always exist.

The idea that one’s moment of being incredibly culturally relevant might come at the expense of being on the packaging of something that doesn’t taste great is funny. Of course, it’s not like it happens to everyone; how bad can the ice cream that has Son’s face on its wrappers be? (Alternatively: how bad can even low quality ice cream be?) Perhaps more importantly, though: who cares? You’re on a food package.

tl;dr: Scattered thoughts on footballers on food packaging.

Links of the Day

The Real Valladolid-Valencia result on the final day of La Liga’s season was fixed, per a judge assigned to the Spanish match fixing scandal.

The Dutch women’s team will received increased compensation until it reaches an equal payout in 2023 after it reached an agreement with the federation.

French president Emmanuel Macron has angered UEFA president Aleksander Čeferin after speaking against a proposed Super League.

David Squires recaps the Champions League final in his latest cartoon.

Transfer updates: Real Madrid has signed Luka Jović from Eintracht Frankfurt; Phil Jagielka will leave Everton after 12 years at the club; Alberto Moreno and Daniel Sturridge are leaving Liverpool and will be free agents; James Rodriguez will not stay at Bayern Munich after the club opted not to activate the buyout clause

Today’s longer read: Steve Rose on Freedom Fields, a documentary about Libya’s women’s team as it fights for recognition and success while dealing with oppression and a civil war for The Guardian

Bonus longer reads: The Guardian’s team by team preview of the women’s World Cup [updating as more previews are published]