The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Tuesday, September 3

Hi, all!

I accidentally didn’t check the comments much yesterday, so to answer a question: the U.S. Open was loads of fun, and there were two occasions when I was afraid of getting struck by a ball from Jamie Murray, but it was also the most fun thing.

Ramble of the Day

The funny thing about today’s ramble is that I had something in mind from breakfast time. Fernando Llorente had officially signed for another club, and I played ABBA’s “Fernando” aloud on my phone for my sisters and I to sing. (None of us are good at singing, so I hope you know it was not a great rendition.) “That’s the ramble,” I said aloud, knowing it’d be a quick enough thing to knock out.

The idea for the ramble would be about how the song reflects very nicely on Llorente’s two years at the club. Not perfectly, of course, but still very accurately; the chorus is exactly how I feel about that Manchester City match. The song doesn’t include certain frustrations, and the actual confusion I felt on the day of his signing (I remember it so vividly), but the rest of it isn’t so bad. I remember feeling that way the very day of that match — on an impulse, I added both that song and Bobby Hebb’s “Sunny” to my main playlist and haven’t taken them off. Past 10:30p, I started working on the Hoddle, idea fully developed, but I figured it’d be a good idea to see what ended up in the write-up of Llorente’s signing on the site.

It turns out that Dustin, without knowing any of my intentions, captured the sentiment perfectly by just dropping the “Fernando” lyrics in there. He’s probably going to read this, so in case you are: don’t feel bad! It truly was the perfect way to send him off, so I have no complaints.

It’s 11:05p now, and I decided a few minutes ago that this was a perfect occasion for a free write, and it’s probably the most focused one I’ve done. Of course, this is now about to go off the rails, but I also did do exactly what I set out to do, and it actually was pretty quick to digitally jot down my feelings.

I suppose that this is technically the end of the comprehensive coverage of Llorente on the site. Enjoy Napoli, Fernando! We’ll always have that Hoddle where I called you a bad model.

tl;dr: ABBA’s “Fernando” is a great way to remember Fernando Llorente’s time at Spurs.

Links of the Day

The Jamaican women’s national team has decided not to play another match until the federation pays the players what they are owed.

Transfer updates: the full list of transfers as they happened across Europe

Today’s longer read: Phil Dawkes on the tall tales of “Fatty” Foulke, the former Sheffield United goalkeeper known a century ago for his size — and his true story — for the BBC