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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Monday, October 12

A funny story

Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

Hi, all!

It’s a holiday in the U.S., so it seems like a good time for a quick story.

Ramble of the Day

Over the weekend, my younger sister shared a story about a time they played football (soccer, in case it’s confusing) in high school gym class. One time, a student a year younger than her begged his gym teacher to join her class during the football unit because he was particularly passionate about the sport. (My sister’s teacher was pretty easygoing and let him join.) My sister said he was on the school team, but wasn’t sure if he was on the junior varsity or varsity team at the time, and would wear an Inter Milan shirt as his gym shirt. She describes him as “the most showboat-y player” who never passed to the point where he would run the entire length of the gym if he happened to be on the other side. He also insisted everyone pass to him so he could take a shot.

My sister was normally a goalkeeper, but that day rotated out. As was frequently the case, the class was split into four teams and two different games, so there was one teacher refereeing two games. When the teacher wasn’t looking, the competitive kid dove after someone barely touched him. He sprung back up and awarded himself a penalty, as his team was losing. Everyone watching protested that he couldn’t just award himself a penalty, but he decided to line up for it anyway. My sister remembers him lining up for the penalty outside of the designated penalty area, and couldn’t tell you way. As he took it, the goalkeeper decided to continue the no rules game and picked up the small round goal and turned it around, making it impossible for him to convert the penalty. The goalkeeper went, “Oops, you missed,” and that was that.

tl;dr: My sister told me a funny story about someone who forced himself into her gym class to play football, once awarded himself a penalty, and then missed because the goalkeeper turned the goal around.

Stay informed, read this: Quincy Walters on the demand of activists to make Indigenous Peoples’ Day a holiday in Boston for WBUR

Links of the Day

Inter’s Ashley Young, an Ireland player, an Aston Villa women player, two Minnesota United players, one Colorado Rapids player, and two Columbus Crew staff members tested positive for COVID-19.

Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford was awarded an MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours.

A longer read: Jessica Smetana profiles the USWNT’s Crystal Dunn on turning career negatives into positives, getting chickens during the pandemic, and using her platform as an athlete for Sports Illustrated