Tottenham make cheeky bid for free-agent mascot Gunnersaurus

Tottenham Hotspur are known for leaving business to the very last minute of a transfer window, and for making shock bids that come out of left field. Today, they may have outdone themselves. Reports are emerging that Spurs have made an audacious bid for former Arsenal mascot and current free agent dinosaur Gunnersaurus.

Hatched from an egg discovered under Highbury in 1993, the green, fuzzy and extinct prehistoric lizard was considered a friend to wayward and misguided North London children for nearly 30 years. He was unceremoniously cut adrift from Tottenham’s north London rivals recently in a COVID-19 related cost-cutting measure, according to The Athletic, with the plush, genetically modified dino deemed “no longer necessary.”

Spurs chairman Daniel Levy, never one to pass up a good bargain, is said to have beat back interest from a number of international clubs for Gunnersaurus’ signature, but is facing a strong bid from the British Museum who are hoping the dino could be a long-term replacement for museum captain Dippy. There are unconfirmed reports that Gunnersaurus has also been offered a role with Arsenal Fan TV.

It’s not clear what role Levy would have in mind for Gunnersaurus, distantly (and questionably) related to Tottenham’s avian mascot Chirpy, but some have speculated that he would be a perfect candidate for the role of fromaggier long-rumored Cheese Room in Spurs’ new stadium, which was itself cut for financial reasons, or as a boot room attendant. Rumors that Gunnersaurus would be bronzed and positioned, middle finger outstretched and facing the Emirates, outside Spurs’ stadium have been hotly denied.

Gunnersaurus is said to be considering his options