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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Friday, March 13

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Dakota Johnson, at home and on talk shows

Tottenham Hotspur Training Session Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Getty Images

Hey, everyone!

Stay safe, all! I’ll try to keep us all distracted in the meantime, which doesn’t change things must because I have been trying to distract you from Tottenham.

Ramble of the Day

I will recommend the following video for two reasons, and you can pick whichever one better suits you. One, this is a ten minute video of gorgeous, calming architecture; two, this is a video of Dakota Johnson talking, being her slightly monotone, unusual, but definitely interesting way of explaining what’s in her lovely home. (If you watch this, you’ll run into both regardless.)

My takeaway from this video is that there’s probably one particular thing you’ll like about the home — for me, it’s the windows — and one particular thing that Johnson says will resonate with you — it’s the limes for me. I really, really love them, and wanted to have some limeade after watching this.

What I’ll choose to linger on for the purpose of entertainment is Johnson specifically, who in the Architectural Digest shows the very light version of herself, and probably her most normal version. She can be a little bit more cutting, and while you find Johnson an acquired taste, the results have been funny.

If you have time for two, start with this video of her appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon in 2018, where she told a story about her dog getting skunked and really didn’t appreciate Jimmy Fallon interrupting her.

If you only have time for one, though, I’d pick this video of her on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in November, when Johnson properly roasted DeGeneres when the topic of Johnson’s birthday party came up. The back and forth is what Johnson does — she’s dry and straightforward, and she has a response for everything DeGeneres says. It’s a lot of fun. (It’s all DeGeneres’s fault, for what it’s worth.)

That reminds me that this isn’t even my favorite awkward confrontation on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Bonus points (that count towards nothing) if you can guess it, but I’ll have you know that I wrote it down in my notes and I’ll share the answer one of these days!

tl;dr: Dakota Johnson is very straightforward and dry, and also she has a gorgeous home.

Links of the Day

Coronavirus:

U.S. Soccer president Carlos Cordeiro resigned after multiple calls for his removal from the position.
Supplmental reading: a comprehensive timeline of the USWNT’s pay dispute with U.S. Soccer

Leicester’s Ricardo Pereira tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the season.

Today’s longer read: Andy Hunter speaks to Kieran Trippier on enjoying life under Diego Simeone at Atlético Madrid for The Guardian