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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, March 19

Remember Ryan Lochte?

Soccer - Littlewoods Cup - Semi Final First Leg - Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur - Highbury Photo by S&G/PA Images via Getty Images

Hey, everyone!

I saw your list of less celebrated Tottenham players of years past, so I jotted it down the names and I’m starting with Nico Claesen, here playing against Arsenal in 1987.

Ramble of the Day

Speaking of athletes who had their heights in the past, remember Ryan Lochte and his many claims to fame?

The last I heard of him, it was 2018 and he picked up a second suspension in two years, this time for breaking anti-doping rules courtesy of a post on social media. You’ll probably remember that his first suspension came after Lochtegate, which has its own Wikipedia page dedicated to it! (A genuinely embarrassing moment for both Lochte and former Today show third hour host Billy Bush, but any version of Remember Him? I’d do would be much more scathing.)

Since we’re taking A Trip Down Memory Lane: Ryan Lochte edition, I might as well discuss what the previous Olympics bump got him: it was a show on E! in 2012 called What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, full of gems that someone nicely packaged into one YouTube video.

I didn’t initially intend on commenting further on the video, but I must warn: it clocks in at 2:22 but feels like it is five minutes long, and he gives off some really Michael Scott vibes right at the end.

Perhaps it wasn’t a surprise that this was the trajectory of the guy who wore grills accepting Olympic medals, but while Lochte’s past reveals a guy full of personality, his present is pretty plain. There are workout videos, pictures of his children, but in a most bleak turn, he’s now selling Ryan’s Rings while posing hard in front of what I assume to be a fake waterfall.

It’s bleak, but not really because he got paid to do it — he’s got to put food on the table, after all. It’s a combination of things, but the essence of the whole thing is so, so mundane. The choices are as basic as they come, from the picture to the text. This man, who became part of public discourse multiple times for different reasons and with a fairly stacked Wikipedia page, has fallen into the bland athlete trap.

A quick look at his life makes him seem less interesting than he used to be, and maybe it’s because he could even be considered interesting because he was not particularly bright, and he either keeps quiet about it now or just is different. It does make me wonder if he was ever really interesting in the first place, hiding behind noteworthy qualities and objects the whole time.

tl;dr: I wonder, was Ryan Lochte ever interesting?

Links of the Day


Today’s longer read: Louise Taylor and Ben Fisher on Stevenage and other initiatives from English clubs to help their supporters amid the coronavirus pandemic for The Guardian