The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, April 2

Hello, all!

Today, we’ve got former Tottenham winger Willem Korsten at the top. Also, for viewers of Tiger King, your connection between football and the show has arrived courtesy of retired MLS veteran Bobby Boswell.

Ramble of the Day

We are a football-starved public, so what does a football-starved public get? Karim Benzema being Karim Benzema, even if it is the most boring version of Karim Benzema as Karim Benzema.

Let’s recap the latest chapter: Like almost every other famous person sitting in their home, Benzema did an Instagram live. Unlike most famous people, he ended up bashing another famous person — former France teammate Olivier Giroud. Here’s a screen recording of him doing the talking, but it’s in French so most of you will want the translation (courtesy of the BBC).

You can’t confuse an F1 car with a go-kart and I’m being kind. I know I’m a Formula 1 car. It works because he’s there, that’s it. It’s not going to be spectacular. [Antoine] Griezmann and [Kylian] Mbappe get seen more while he rolls his sleeves up and does the dirty work. But does everyone like his game? I don’t know.

Naturally, every Twitter account dedicated to football stats had grasped the content with two hands and did the comparisons. Most notably, they pointed out time and time again that Giroud won the World Cup and that Benzema hasn’t. Giroud also noted the same (via Talksport):

People say you cannot compare a Formula One car with a go-kart and the only thing I can say on the matter is that I’m a world champion, so that isn’t bad for a go kart.

This was then followed up by Griezmann inserting himself into the debate like Tyrese Gibson did in the Vin Diesel-Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson feud and taking Giroud’s side after saying he couldn’t answer a question about the feud on Twitch (via Goal).

I love Olivier Giroud, he’s a good player and he helped us win the World Cup. And that’s important in life.

First, I’ll congratulate you for sticking to it and finishing this very mundane saga, but let’s focus on the fact that this whole thing is fairly boring. On that, I ask what I seemingly always ask: Why are you still doing this, Karim?

If you must insist that you are a better player than someone else, I obviously cannot stop you. All I’m saying, though, is that the person kicked off the national team for blackmailing his teammate cannot act like his bitterness is earned. This indignation has created a feud only grabbing headlines because we have no other football to pay attention to. There have been many bad looks for Benzema in his life, but this is a new low. You’re not just awful now, you’re also lame.

tl;dr: A recap of Karim Benzema’s feud with Olivier Giroud, which proves Benzema isn’t just a questionable person, but also a pathetic one.

Links of the Day

Coronavirus:

• A Philadelphia Union player tested positive for COVID-19.
• Bournemouth furloughed more than 50 staff members, but will make up the difference to ensure full pay for those employees. Manager Eddie Howe took a voluntary pay cut.
• MLS will decrease pay of most league staff, with entry-level and lower-compensated workers not impacted. Commissioner Don Garber will reduce his salary by 25%.

ESPN picks out the best football photos of 2020.

Today’s longer read: Will Unwin interviews Steven Caulker on life in Turkey amid the coronavirus pandemic and continuing his recovery from addiction for The Guardian