The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Thursday, April 9

Hi, all!

Above is former Spurs defender Dean Austin. Also, I’m realizing that the Hoddle is probably the only way I am keeping track of what day it is, so expect a typo in the coming weeks.

Ramble of the Day

My sisters and I have developed a habit of listening to the podcast Who? Weekly since my older sister can no longer listen to it on her commute. It’s a fun podcast if you are looking to unwind with a couple of people discussing (and making fun of) celebrities, but let’s go specifically to the episode that dropped this Tuesday.

I’d encourage you to check in at 57:55 of the episode as an introduction to today’s ramble, but if you don’t: hosts Bobby Finger and Lindsey Weber played a game to celebrate Weber’s birthday where they visit famousbirthdays.com, a site that not only is essentially a database of vaguely famous people, but also rank these people based on how famous they are. That would normally be boring, but this website has a very weird algorithm so guessing who is ranked above someone else is a very fun activity. (That’s why I ask you to listen, as Finger picked out some fun dates.)

I hope you’ll excuse the very long introduction, but for the purposes of today’s ramble, I’m going to share what famousbirthdays.com‘s weird algorithm revealed for my birthday, September 2.

1. Hayley LeBlanc, an 11 year old YouTube star!

2- 6. more YouTube stars

7. Keanu Reeves, someone I finally recognize (and didn’t know I shared a birthday with — pleasant surprise)

8. Zedd, DJ

9 & 10. more YouTube stars

11. Salma Hayek, who maybe should be higher

12. Ross Smith, a Facebook star (which I didn’t know was a thing)

13-22. Other internet stars, including actor Mark Harmon of The West Wing and NCIS fame at 19

23. Lala Kent of Vanderpump Rules fame, the only person from that show I’d want to share a birthday with other than Lisa Vanderpump

I could go on, but I think I’ve demonstrated the point and added enough of my own commentary. I do have a parting question, though: Who visits this site to make the rankings look like that?

tl;dr: famousbirthdays.com is a weird website, and Who? Weekly is a great podcast.

Links of the Day

Coronavirus:

• Millwall, D.C. United, and the USL all furloughed staff, including players at Millwall.
• Real Madrid players are taking a voluntary pay cut, and Fulham manager Scott Parker took a 25% wage deferral.
• Schalke asked season ticket holders to waive their right to a rebate.
• Premier League players teamed up to raise money for the National Health Service.
• The trial for the USWNT’s gender discrimination lawsuit against U.S. Soccer has been pushed from May to June.

Today’s longer read: Tariq Panja on Germany’s plan to resume the Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga in May after allowing teams to resume training this week for The New York Times