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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Friday, May 15

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A joke

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Aston Villa v Tottenham Hotspur - Villa Park Photo by Dave Howarth - PA Images via Getty Images

Hello, all!

Today we have former Tottenham defender Tottenham defender Sébastien Bassong, who might be the first person from this group of former players I actually remember playing for Spurs. Also: Did you know that he’s currently in Greece, playing for Volos FC?

Links of the Day

My younger sister was looking at the Bundesliga schedule this weekend on FotMob, and had a question: “How come no one said they’re playing in the Faroe Islands?” To this, I had a quick reply: “If you read the Hoddle today, you’d know.”

You’ll want to crack a joke that my real life is occasionally an episode of “no one reads the articles.” That being the case, though, has allowed me to come up with a joke that I really love using whenever I can. I’ve used it in the Cartilage Free Captain writers’ room, but I probably use it more often with my sisters than anyone else.

It’s a very funny thing to say to them because, for the most part, they don’t answer with “no one reads the articles.” (Maybe they will in the future, if they read this.) They’re very nice people, so they mostly feel slightly bad that they didn’t read it because they’ve made the habit of reading it. Sometimes that leads to them to immediately read it, and other times it leads to me just telling them what I wrote about. The best, though, is the rare occasion when I say “you’d know if you read the Hoddle” and get this response: “I didn’t read the links.”

It turns out, dear Hoddlers, either my sisters either picked up a habit from all of you or human beings tend to be similar and only look for whatever they want to look for. For you, it’s the comments; for them, it’s reading what I wrote, and isn’t that very nice?

tl;dr: When people mention things that were in the Hoddle as if it was new information, I like to joke that if they read the Hoddle, they’d know. I mostly crack this joke with my sisters.

Links of the Day

Coronavirus:

Today’s longer read: Simon Armstrong on the unpopular England 1980 home kit and the financial woes of its manufacturer Admiral for the BBC