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The Tottenham Hotspur Tarot: I – The Magician

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A mystic card for the club’s bald ninja Jedi wizard

Hello, dear friends. It is I, Troy Parrott, Tarot Pro, with you again with my deck of augury. The cards hold the future and can divine not just what is to come, but also what simply is.

We are on a journey through the major arcana in this series, using my special deck carefully attuned to the arcane forces that ripple through North London. It is a custom deck of my own design, made with the recent guidance of my great-grandmother who passed away years ago and nonetheless still serves as my guide.

Today we continue to the card marked No. 1. You might recognize him. He’s a top, top lad.

I – The Magician


Abracadabra!

Upright

Resourcefulness, power, skill, ability, manifestation

Inverted

Con-artists, manipulation, trickery, deception, blockage

If you had to pick one card that looked the most arcane, you might say The Magician. While the Fool occupies the first slot in the major arcana, the Magician carries the number 1 — it is first in so many things, the card of opportunity. The central figure has one arm pointing to the heavens, and one pointing at the earth — as above, so is below.

The Magician is a powerful card, wielding powerful mystical energies. He is the link between heaven and earth. He pulls everything together, and through his prodigious — you could even say uncanny — powers, the Magician can perform miracles, squeeze opponents’ balls until their eyes start to water, conjure van der Vaarts out of thin air, and witcher together a squad of league-challenging players, without buying anyone for a whole year! Why, he can even magick together a stadium with nothing but the change between the couch cushions in the players’ lounge. Truly, there is nothing he cannot do.

He holds a candle, lit at both ends, in his up-stretched arm, representing his powerful energies that burn bright and fast in changing times. Above his head is the symbol of infinity, a never-ending orouborous — all this has happened before and will happen again. Below him are the four suits of the Tarot — pentacles, cups, swords, staves — representing the four elements and symbolizing the Magician’s ability to create anything he desires via the proper application of his powers and will. The Magician always has a goal, a plan on how to get there, and the means to manifest it. He is not universally liked, but at his best he is certainly effective, and hence respected for the things he creates.

However, the opposite is also true. Turn the Magician around and everything literally flips on its head. Inverted, the Magician symbolizes distraction and deception. He represents poor planning, or taking one’s eye off the ball. Inverted, this is the card of the delayed stadium, of contracts set to expire. It’s the card of deception and underhanded trickery. Was this the card drawn by Martin Jol? By Archway Sheet Metal? By season ticket holders? The inverted Magician at his best is stuck or the victim of complacency, but at his worst is both greedy and miserly. Profit over glory. Why won’t the inverted Magician take his spells back to global finance and leave the business to people who truly understand it?

The Magician is a powerful card, but the contrasts between the orientations can be as staggering as the possibilities. This is a divisive card, but few can overlook its importance.

Come back tomorrow and we shall discuss the next card in the Tottenham Hotspur Tarot.