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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Wednesday, September 2

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A man and a dog

Tottenham Hotspur v Birmingham City - Pre-Season Friendly Photo by Marc Atkins/Getty Images

Hey, everyone.

Let’s start today with tennis star Naomi Osaka’s tribute to Breonna Taylor during her first round match at the U.S. Open this week.

Ramble of the Day

A little while ago, my sister was telling me about a scene from the film Bounce, starring Ben Affleck and Gwyneth Paltrow, that I perceived as nonsensical. She was telling me that Affleck’s character has the same name as as Paltrow’s character’s dog, and that for some reason, this was a relatively significant moment in the film. The scene just happens to be on YouTube as promotional material from its distributor, Miramax, so I watched it one day. It is a pretty bizarre scene.

The scene takes place at the office of Paltrow’s character, Abby, who is a real estate agent; Affleck’s Buddy is a prospective client. There’s a dog barking throughout the entire scene, and it’s basically the first topic of conversation. By the thirty second mark, director-writer Don Roos has worked in a clunky joke about involuntary urination for whatever reason — it’s so unexpected, written poorly, and isn’t delivered well by Paltrow — but this is just the first twists that make you ask “Why?” in this three minute clip.

The scene settles down a bit, as does a frazzled Abby. The two chat about real estate like normal people until Buddy insists on helping her with the dog. We are then introduced to a new storyline where Buddy may have been stalking Abby, and I wonder if this film does have a payoff for incorporating a little bit of stalking into the story. He says he’s good with Rottweilers, she notes that she never told him the dog was a Rottweiler. He says he saw her walking the dog, she says that was a half hour ago and that he said he was just passing by when he decided to walk in. He says he passed by half an hour earlier, met a client, then popped in.

The scene does not calm down, as Abby releases the barking dog and it starts attacking Buddy. While the dog tears Buddy’s clothes, we find out that the dog is also named Buddy, and that Abby lied when she said his name was Frank. Again, I wonder if there is a payoff somewhere in this film because this isn’t a very good meet cute, but I’m also wondering why Abby lied. Thankfully, we get an answer because Roos writes another terrible line in a string of terrible lines for Abby in this scene: “You can’t go around telling a client that they’ve got a dog’s name!”

Buddy the human is so upset that he asks if the dog is licensed — I question if this is a natural reaction, but maybe that’s just who this person is. Abby seems to have settled the situation and then the clip ends. You have to credit Roos for squishing as many random storylines and events in the span of three minutes as possible, but I wonder why Miramax thought it would be worth sharing at all. It’s bizarre and poorly written, and I can’t imagine it makes the movie appealing to someone who might be interested in watching. While this scene is terrible, I don’t even think it proves this film to be terrible enough that it’d be fun to laugh at. It’s just so weird.

tl;dr: I was randomly introduced to this very strange scene from the film Bounce where Ben Affleck’s character has the same name as a dog.

Stay informed, read this: Ta-Nehisi Coates on the current anti-racism movement and the complexity of racism for Vanity Fair’s September issue The Great Fire, which he guest edited

Links of the Day

Wolves’ Adama Traoré tested positive for COVID-19.

Real Salt Lake’s chief business officer Andy Carroll took a leave of absence after reports of sexist behavior towards female players and other women at the club.

Tim Howard joined NBC’s Premier League broadcast team as an analyst.

David Squires covers the drama between Lionel Messi and Barcelona in his latest cartoon.

Transfer updates: Chelsea signed Pernille Harder from Wolfsburg; Arsenal signed Gabriel from Lille; Sevilla signed Ivan Rakitić from Barcelona

A longer read: Tariq Panja on a lawsuit filed after a La Liga match was not allowed to be played in the United States, and the Department of Justice’s concerns about antitrust law violations by FIFA and U.S. Soccer for The New York Times