Telegraph: Real Madrid willing to pay half of Gareth Bale’s salary to make him go away

Let’s start out by stating the obvious: Tottenham Hotspur are almost certainly not re-signing Gareth Bale. There are about a billion reasons why this is not going to happen and very few that lead him to putting on a white shirt with a cockerel on it again.

But!

The Telegraph is out with an EXCLUSIVE today (that’s also behind a paywall) that states Bale’s parent club Real Madrid is so desperate to get him off the Madrid golf courses and at some other club that they’re willing to pay half his wages just to go away.

Presumably we’re also talking about a free transfer, although the Telegraph doesn’t specify that. That sounds like a pretty good deal! In fact, when this was posted in the Carty Free Slack channel today my first instincts were to laugh and say “Hahahahaha, let’s do it, YOLO.” However, that was before I remembered that Bale is on weekly wages that are said to be as high as £600k/week. Half of Bale’s Madrid wages are still £300k a week, and that’s a crap-ton for a club like Tottenham who’s highest earner is Harry Kane at around £200k/wk.

There’s also that, if they’d do it, Spurs would be signing a 31-year old aging superstar who is frequently injured and who hasn’t really had a good season since 2017-18. Even on a 50% off clearance sale, that’s still just not worth it.

But what if this was an opening gambit by Madrid? What if they’re willing to haggle? I tell you honestly, despite my head saying there’s absolutely no way this happens, my heart says that if Daniel Levy can negotiate Madrid to paying 75% of Bale’s wages — that’s £150k/week, well within Spurs’ price range, especially if they’re not charging a transfer fee — that’s when I start to get interested.

Look, there’s zero evidence that Spurs are even interested in bringing back Bale. It’s pure fan-fiction. And yet! This story is basically Kombucha Girl in story form — it’s terrible, but I don’t understand why the universe won’t just let me be a cynic. It’s the hope that kills you.