Cartilage Free Poetry Slam 15: Erik Lamela Bredlik

I used to write poetry about Tottenham Hotspur. Back in the day when I was a simple commenter-American, I’d be inspired about something Spurs related in the shower and it would come out in a rhyme. There were numerous examples, some better than others. The last one I wrote was back in 2014.

I don’t know why I stopped. Probably I got busy writing this blog or something. Well, I’m inspired again.

There’s a particular poetic style that was recently popular on the inter-webz called Bredlik, inspired by a reddit thread about a cow licking bread. (You should read it, it’s funny.) Since then, bredlik poems on various subjects have popped up on the internet about whatever meme becomes trendy (here’s one on the chonky Suez Canal-blocking boat).

Anyway.

*cough*

Here’s one about Erik Lamela.

my name Coco
i am bereft
coz wen I kick
is with my left

i put left fut
around my right
i score thru legs
it much excite

i run aruond
and think with glee
that we could win
the NLD

but red team score
then scor again
how we win match
i cannot ken

so yellow card
i quickly earned
it just the first,
i not concerned

now gooner come
behiynd my back
it seem to me
he neede a smack

i swyng my hand
to make man ded
i hit his face

i earne teh red

Laudits and rotten tomatoes are both probably deserved, and welcome, in the comments. And if you want to try a crack at some bredlik on any Tottenham-related subject, have at it.