The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur news and links for Friday, April 2

Hi, all!

Let’s start the day with a story from — you guessed it — Middlesbrough manager Neil Warnock.

Ramble of the Day

I’m taking a prompt straight out of the Cartilage Free writers’ room and sharing it. Tottenham has not just a pivotal few months ahead to close out the season, but in all likelihood a very important offseason. The possibility that major figures exiting the team might be higher than usual, with the futures of José Mourinho and Harry Kane being the biggest talking points.

That said, here’s the prompt: If you’re presented the following four scenarios, how likely do you think each one is? (They are not currently presented in a particular order.)

• Mourinho stays, Kane stays
• Mourinho leaves, Kane stays
• Mourinho stays, Kane leaves
• Mourinho leaves, Kane leaves

It’s a pretty hard question to answer right now — the team has nine league games left and is only three points away from a top four spot, and has a cup final to play at the end of the month. There are a lot of potential scenarios that could play out, and things seem subject to change pretty regularly. There’s still a certain amount of fun baked into predictions, though, especially if one’s good natured enough to admit when they get it wrong.

My stab at what might happen by the start of the 2021-22 season, ranked from most likely to least likely:

1. Mourinho leaves, Kane stays
2. Mourinho stays, Kane stays
3. Mourinho leaves, Kane leaves
4. Mourinho stays, Kane leaves

I’d like to start by saying that I don’t think one will necessarily cause the other. It’s funny to compare because the two would leave under entirely different circumstances — Mourinho because of a dissatisfaction in job performance, Kane in a move that would command a big transfer fee that is a direct acknowledgment of good job performance.

I feel confident that it’s more likely Mourinho leaves than Kane does. Again, that’s down to the different situations — firing Mourinho is a decision that is entirely internal for Spurs, while selling Kane will involve some external players. In Kane’s case, I question whether or not there would be a happy meeting point between Spurs and a new club on a transfer fee, so I’ve ranked those scenarios lower. I also think it’s really unlikely Kane goes if Mourinho stays — he is reportedly one of the manager’s supporters, so I imagine he wouldn’t mind working with him for another year.

I had a very tough time deciding between the first and second, because I truly believe it could go either way. At this time, I am giving a slight edge to the situation where Mourinho leaves — there’s a lot to complain about in terms of his job performance. It will definitely be expensive to fire him, but the opportunity for a fresh rebuild could be really tempting this offseason.

tl;dr: Let’s predict how likely it is that either José Mourinho or Harry Kane will leave Tottenham in the offseason.

Stay informed, read this: Jenny Vrentas on the accusations of sexual misconduct against the Houston Texans’ Deshaun Watson for Sports Illustrated

Links of the Day

Yeovil Town captain Lee Collins died aged 32.

Four more Lyon women players tested positive for COVID-19; a total of ten players currently have COVID-19.

Arsenal women are getting support training for online abuse, as the club expects a greater amount of abuse with the increase in exposure from a new tv deal.

Juventus’ Weston McKennie, Paulo Dybala, and Arthur are facing fines after breaking COVID-19 protocol by attending a party at McKennie’s home.

Real Madrid’s Sergio Ramos will miss the Champions League against Liverpool with a calf injury.

A longer read: Ryan Rosenblatt on how we should and shouldn’t think about the U-23 USMNT’s failure to qualify for the Olympics for his newsletter, Think Outside the Ball