Jurgen Klinsmann is thirsty for the Tottenham job

This article is a public service. While I don’t believe in jinxes, hexes, reverse-curses or any of that malarkey, many of the people reading this right now have looked at the things I’ve written over the course of Tottenham’s managerial search and come to the conclusion that the best way to ensure that something doesn’t happen is for me to write an article saying that it will.

So it is with a heavy heart that I announce that according to multiple outlets including the BBC, Jurgen Klinsmann has thrown his hat into the ring for the vacant Tottenham Hotspur managerial position. And he should get it.

I don’t actually think that, obviously. There’s no way in hell Klinsmann should be a serious contender for the Tottenham job, but that’s how reverse-curses work, right? I write it and the opposite thing happens?

“Absolutely would I consider that, but if he doesn’t want to I cannot force it,” Klinsmann said when asked by the BBC if he’d take the Spurs job if offered. Klinsmann also added a key detail to the earlier report about his phone call with Daniel Levy — it turns out that it was Klinsmann who called Levy, and not the other way around.

“I called him [Levy] after he let Mourinho go. I said ‘Daniel, what’s the case now?’ and he said ‘I have so much to do right now, I have to sort things out at the club and let’s talk later on’.

“Then I saw all the different names walking in and talking and walking out. And the same still.”

Klinsmann is a Spurs legend, COYS to the core, and an affable guy. I quite like him, probably always will on a personal level. However as an American who watched his tenure with the USA Men’s National Team, I can say with some certainty that he’s not a particularly good manager. I also quite enjoyed Klinsmann’s story of Levy’s response, which is the most British way of saying “Go away, I’m busy” I can imagine. “Let’s talk later on,” bahahahahahahahaha.

I don’t believe in jinxes, but y’all seem to think it’s a thing so let’s roll with it. GIVE JURGEN KLINSMANN THE SPURS JOB. There, I said it, and because of that now there’s going to be a double-backwards-ungood reverse-reverse jinx and Klinsi will be leading the team out against Manchester City. I blame all of you.