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Report: Manchester United interested in buying Harry Winks

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SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL SELL

Leicester City v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

Last night’s news was dominated by a certain OTHER story and that’s all well and good, but I’d be remiss in my job responsibilities if I didn’t write this little gem up, because holy moly I’ve never wanted something so badly in my life. Stretty News is reporting that Manchester United have made inquiries as to the availability of Harry Winks.

Yes, that’s right. Harry Winks.

As in, to purchase him.

Yes, THAT Harry Winks.

Winks is said to be valued at £25m. I’m not Daniel Levy, but if I were, this is how I imagine the negotiations would go:

John Murtough: OK Daniel, we’d like to open the negotiations for Winksy with a bid of tw...

Daniel Levy: SOLD.

Murtough: But you haven’t even heard my...

Levy: Well, that was easy! Here’s the paperwork, we’ll get it faxed over within the hour.

Murtough: You... have the paperwork already drawn up? Don’t you even want to...

Levy: Great doing business with you John, have a blessed evening, let me show you out.

The report is short and states that the negotiations are in its “infancy” but that Winks has some big admirers amongst the United recruitment team. Which makes me wonder if the United recruitment team has actually watched any Tottenham football at all this past season. I don’t know if this is true. I’d very much like this to be true.

That’s the post. OK bye!