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The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Thursday, July 29

hilarious embarrassment

Milton Keynes Dons v Tottenham Hotspur - Pre-Season Friendly - Stadium MK Photo by David Davies/PA Images via Getty Images

Hi, all!

I’m trying to decide if I mind the black undershirt with that kit, but I might not care because I just really like that kit.

Ramble of the Day

The Olympics, among its many other features, is a chance to discover or re-discover different sports. We create discourse about these sports, frequently categorizing them in infinite ways — the cool sports, the hard sports, the silly sports, the boring sports. Perhaps the most fun way to categorize them is to do a thought exercise, temporarily embed yourself in these sports, and explore your personal ability to fail. I present this prompt:

There are very few sports (if any) I would not embarrass myself in at this moment in time, but we’re trying to maximize embarrassment here. For me, the sport is surfing and I can picture the embarrassment very easily. Running with the surfboard to the ocean is easy enough, but I could definitely hilariously struggle to swim towards a wave on the board. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’d figure out how to get to the wave in a somewhat insignificant manner. Without doubt, though, I would fail to properly stand on the board and would probably fall off it before I started surfing properly. It would be an objectively funny thing for anyone watching.

(My backup answer, by the way, would be the gymnastics floor exercise. The most extreme thing I’d probably attempt is skipping.)

tl;dr: I would most certainly embarrass myself in surfing.

Stay informed, read this: British diver Tom Daley on inspiring LGBTQ+ youth after winning his first Olympic gold medal in Tokyo

Links of the Day

Chelsea will require spectators to show proof of vaccination against COVID-19 or a negative test.

Portsmouth released three players for sending discriminatory messages in a group chat following England’s loss in the Euro final.

Clubs in England received new guidelines on headers, including restricting the number of headers players should do during a week’s worth of training.

Chelsea’s Ann-Katrin Berger signed a new three year deal with the club.

Transfers: Crystal Palace signed Joachim Andersen from Lyon; Manchester United signed Martha Thomas from West Ham; Chelsea signed Marcus Bettinelli on a free;

A longer read: Steven Goff on Qatar ahead of its Gold Cup semifinal, a platform to boost both the team’s reputation and get exposure ahead of the 2022 World Cup for The Washington Post