The Hoddle of Coffee: Tottenham Hotspur News and Links for Monday, July 5

Hi, all!

I forgot to mention this last week, but Lynn Williams’ boyfriend Marley Biyendolo won Big Brother Australia after I rambled about him. Let’s pretend those two things are connected.

Ramble of the Day

It sometimes feels like there’s a dearth of content that allows footballers to be more fleshed out humans, and I stumbled upon Pro: Direct Soccer, a YouTube channel doing all it can to fill the gap. I spent some time going through its Fake News series, essentially a true or false game with a footballer and the series’ terrific host, Amelia Dimoldenberg.

There are videos with Olivier Giroud and Declan Rice worth checking out, but I’m going to share a clip from a video with Timo Werner. You’ll see the prompt at the bottom left of the video that Dimoldenberg has to guess is true or false: Werner only cooked one meal during lockdown in England. I will provide no other information, because I cannot possibly prepare you for this.

I am the bearer of bad news and must share what that clip does not: Werner was telling the truth, and he made pasta with ham AND KETCHUP. Pasta is a wonderful neutral base, and one could go in a lot of great directions while exploring. Ketchup is not an appropriate substitute for tomato sauce, though! It does not glide on pasta — cooked in any way — the way tomato sauce does. The taste profiles may not even match. It really just sounds like a bad idea.

I’ve seen the whole video, and it is easily the worst take in it. There are a few others in the clip above alone — I don’t really think eggs go with ketchup, and I question Werner’s thoughts on a “normal breakfast.” Nothing is as bad as thinking ketchup and pasta go together, though.

Stay informed, read this: Liz Clarke on the continuing wait for the next Black man to reach the Wimbledon final after MaliVai Washington did 25 years ago for The Washington Post

Links of the Day

Patrick Vieira is the new Crystal Palace manager.

Italy’s Leonarod Spinazzola will miss the rest of the Euros with a torn Achilles tendon.

Mexico’s federation is considering forcing the women’s team serve FIFA’s punishment for supporters using a homophobic chant at a men’s Olympic qualifying match.

Farid Benstiti resigned as the OL Reign coach after a year in the role.

Toni Kroos retired from Germany after 11 years playing at the international level.

Transfers: Leicester signed Boubakary Soumaré from Lille; Arsenal signed Nikita Parris from Lyon; Norwich signed Billy Gilmour on loan from Chelsea; Wolves signed Francisco Trincão on loan from Barcelona; Aston Villa signed Sarah Mayling from Birmingham City and Chantelle Boye-Hlorkah from Everton

A longer read: Nicky Bandini on Leonardo Spinazzola, Italy’s breakout star at the Euros for the Guardian